An abortion doctor was killed last week in a Lutheran church as he ushered. And I'm going to be very honest here and admit that I struggle with what happened there on a number of fronts. I don't often wade into the waters of social issues in this column but I'm going to today- I keep thinking about this. Maybe you do too.
I firmly believe the Bible is clear on a couple of issues here. First, that anyone who has had an abortion or conducted abortions can be forgiven. God's forgiveness, His grace is wide and deep and for everyone who sincerely seeks it. What a blessing, what a gift and how reassuring it is for every one of us to have our sins 'remembered no more'. Secondly, the Bible is clear that life begins in the womb. From our little heart to our little brains to our little toes we are alive, we are small humans in the womb and best of all, even as curled up little balls of humanity, we are loved by God!
I struggle as I consider the Lutheran church which accepted a member with this on-going practice. I know we are all habitual sinners and as I comment on the sins of others I do so only by looking around the log in my own eye. In short, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). And I also know we are to be repentant and by the power of the Holy Spirit turn from those sins we find ourselves in. Are the ELCA and this church okay with late term abortions? Evidently. Does the LCMS and our own church take the same stance? No. Our position on 'life' is clear and clearly different. It can be found on the Synod website and would mandate a change in the heart of a 'doctor' like this.
The greater issue I struggle with is my reaction to this murder. I know it is wrong to kill. I know this 'doctor' is a child of God, a man whom I should love no matter how evil I perceive his actions to be. And yet I feel very little sympathy or outrage. My heart doesn't break for him - I am at best, at my very best, indifferent. Even worse, every time I hear someone say how awful the shooting was, how mean, how senseless, how evil- I can't help but think these same comments could be said about the children who lost their lives at the hands of this victim. I'm not proud of this reaction, not trying to be holier-than-thou, I'm just honestly telling you how I feel and trying to understand why.
Maybe you could say I have a guilty conscience about the way I feel. Or is it possible that maybe my conscience is causing this reaction? Conscience is a pretty complex subject and lovers of knowledge (philosophers) have been contemplating its existence and workings for thousands of years. Luther uses Holy Scripture to give the most insightful description and purpose of 'conscience' in a sermon on Romans, 'Conscience is not the power to do works, but to judge them. The proper work of conscience (as Paul says in Romans 2[:15]), is to accuse or excuse, to make guilty or guiltless, uncertain or certain. Its purpose is not to do, but to pass judgment on what has been done and what should be done, and this judgment makes us stand accused or saved in God's sight.'
Maybe you remember Flip Wilson saying (as only he could say), 'Here come da judge, here come da judge!' Could it be our conscience is a small hint of the perfect Judge and judgment to come? As we act and react in the world, we do so as Luther put it 'Coram Deo'- in front of, before, in plain sight of God. Our conscience helps us act and judge and form opinions with this in mind. The Catholic church wrote in her Second Vatican Council, 'Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a person. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths'. Echoing in my depths, in my conscience, God's voice calls me to love all. I am working on that. Thankfully God does not judge me as quickly as I judge others.
I usually like to provide you an insight with a smile and encouragement in this column. Today I know I didn't really do that. Maybe today's column was more for me than for you. I just needed to think with you for a moment as I write and struggle to hear God's voice in this event. May God grant each of us a 'coram deo' conscience about all of life's big issues. May His voice, His Holy Spirit, echo within the depths of you. God's richest blessings to you this week.
Blest Regards,
kp
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