My news yesterday was pretty good as far as cancer news goes. Cancer 'rollercoaster' is a term commonly used to describe the news that cancer patients get. Good news one day, difficult news the next. Sherri and I experienced this to some extent in my last cancer adventure. One day benign, the next day cancer, body scans good, cancer extremely dangerous and on and on it went ending with good news. This time we already had some good news in our pocket, that my old cancer was not back which would have been very difficult news.
So walking into the doctor's office yesterday, Sherri and I really didn't know what to expect. I had just completed two days of tests with machines that now know me more intimately than I care to share with you here. I drank contrast, had dye put in my IV, and even had some radioactive material injected into my veins- all to see what was going on inside me.
Dr. Soori walked in and began reading the test results. Cancer here of this size, cancer there of that size and oh, another cancer over here. EEEESH! Stop already. Then the good news. No throat cancer, no lung cancer, no chest cancer and no cancer in the southern regions. Bottom line, we are fortunate not to be dealing with more difficult news this morning. The cancer I have is still pretty localized to the neck (though starting to head south to the arm pit) but is very treatable and most likely curable. I have to do chemo and surgery and maybe radiation again but this stuff is usually beatable. And that's exactly what I intend to do again. Stupid cancer.
Interestingly, in Sunday School this past Sunday we talked about Old Testament folks who lived 800 or 900 years, guys like Methusela. That sounded pretty cool especially since no one gets that many years anymore. Then we talked about three guys who didn't die- Enoch, Elijah, and Jesus. We learned how Enoch just walked off with God to heaven. That sounded like a pretty good way to get there. The key to walking off to heaven with God is walking with God in the first place don't you think? One commentary put 'walking with God' in these terms, 'while others lived to themselves and the world, Enoch lived to God. It was the joy and support of his life. Communion with God was to him better than life itself.'
We've been exploring that very topic in our Thursday Bible Study 'In the Dust of the Rabbi' which refers to the tradition of disciples walking so closely to their rabbis that they were always in the dust the rabbi's feet stirred up. The overarching point is that we are to be walking that close to our rabbi Jesus today. What a different church we would have if we were all walking 'Enoch close' to Jesus. These thoughts return to mind as I consider my reaction to my cancer news. In some ways my new cancer adventure seems like a call to me from Jesus himself saying, 'Hey, you're lagging behind a bit. Walk a little closer please.'
Maybe my wake up call, my walk closer call can be your snooze alarm. As children of God maybe it's time to grab a leg as young ones sometimes do with parents and hang on for dear life. I know I did this past week. I'm not going to be letting go anytime soon. That's how close my walk is right now. As such, my prayer this week comes from an old hymn: 'Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.'
So this week begins my new cancer adventure. Friday I spend the day in an easy chair having chemo drugs poured into me. Then I get 4 days of drugs in a small backpack I'll carry with me. Then three weeks later we start the process over again. We'll do this routine three or four times. Here's the bottom line, I may lose my hair and some weight but I won't lose my grip. I'm holding on to my God-given faith with both hands as I walk in His dust. Dust and chemo are my keys to success! Let it be, dear Lord let it be so!
Dustily Yours,
kp
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