Well it's week two of round 2 of chemo. And that means right now I'm feeling good enough to want to do something but not good enough TO do something. The fog hasn't completely lifted, my energy is taking a rest break and my stomach is still issuing complaints (wait in line) and refusing ro accept much except soup. Living in a bit of a never-never land I guess. I've never been off work this long- now a week, except on vacation, and I don't like not working already.
Anyway, as I take time to heal up, I've been reading 'Three Cups of Tea' by Greg Mortensen David Oliver Revlin. It's about how Mr. Mortenson who failed at climbing K2, the second tallest mountain in the world was rescued on his descent and healed up in a small Pakistani village. Here he falls in love with the native people who cared for him and he promises to come back and build a school for them which he does.
The book goes on to chronicle the difficult task of building schools (he goes on to build many more) that don't teach hate in an area known for both a harsh environment and religion- Islam. And the book makes me realize how intricate all the details are that go into what is happening in Afghanistan and Pakistan at this very moment. How tribes and different faiths and the stunning land form their unique soup of life. And in this wild mix of circumstances, America is trying to respond to help the most people we can. Who can understand it all?
Which I guess is a little like what is happening inside me right now. Like how my cancer cells are now in a battle against all these toxic drugs I keep pouring down my port. I imagine as soon as my chemo goes in it passes by all my good cells and heads for my neck, swords raised and ready to do bloody battle. Meanwhile cancer cells rally together to defend themselves- that's really about how well I understand what's actually happening. Sort of a 'Braveheart' theory of a cancer battle I guess. Again, who can truly understand the intracacies of what is really happening inside of me?
When you stop to think about it, we have been given such an amazing and marvelous world haven't we? Creation is at once both complex and simple. We enjoy the beauty of a simple sunset through the vision of our intricately designed eyes. Romans 1 tells us God is clearly visible to all in His creation and I would have added deserving of a round of applause.
These rambling thoughts were coming to mind as I realized that no matter how much I try I will never understand all that is going on right now in yet another major battle- the battle for my heart and mind and soul. The Bible talks about this, about us having a Savior, an advocate, clouds of witnesses, angels cheering - a win is a big deal in heaven! Why? Because forces of darkness and Satan prowl and plan and work to our demise. And like my Braveheart chemo drugs theory we at best only seem to have or want really a vague understanding of what is really happening behind the curtain of eternity. Thankfully we have our God-given faith to cling to in this battle!
Let me encourage you today to explore all the beauty and details of God's creation. Take time to explore God's Word, and the faith He has given you. It's amazing. Let's have more than a simple Jesus as Braveheart theory of salvation. Let's find even more beauty in in learning about Him.
Blest Regards,
kp
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Breakin Down the Trip
It's that time of year again when we make weekly or twice weekly trips to Maryville Missouri to watch Jake play basketball. It's about a two hour drive each way but worth the trip as its great to watch Jake play and have dinner with him or just talk with him after the game.
Usually we have a full van of folks with us including my mom and dad, Sherri's dad and sometimes her sister. I like to break the trip down into shorter segments. It's an hour to Hamburg where break out the food for the last part of the trip. Then its 30 miles east to Braddyville which consists of three 10 mile intersections. Lastly its 23 miles south and east to Maryville. It always feels good to complete a segment as it gets you closer to your destination.
I'm doing the same thing with my cancer treatments. I have 3 rounds of chemo consisting of three weeks each. First segment is 4 hours in the recliner taking IV drugs. The next segment is 4 days of drugs through a backpack encased pump. Then a little over two weeks till the next round. Right now one round is done, and I'm in the middle of the backpack stage of round two. So I'm looking forward to getting this backpack off on Saturday at 5:00 PM to complete another step in my journey.
Right now I'm low on appetite and energy. To balance that, I'm high on nausea. You kinda get used to it after awhile but it still doesn't make it any fun. Sherri does a great job helping me get the right drugs at the right time to limit those oozy feelings. I focus on getting through these short segments and am glad to be almost halfway done with my chemo treatments. Time flies when you're having fun!
Thinking about time flying and segments, what if we set up segments or goals for our faithwalk? I mean what if we really determined to do some things to respnd better to all God has done for us. Remember that cross and free gift of grace thing He did? I put together a To-Do list for the time I am off (2 months) from work. What if we did that for our spiritual life as well?
Here's my idea. Why not jot down a few things you'd like to do to or even just try over the next couple months? Let me suggest 10 things to get the party started:
1. Read a Max Lucado book- I liked 'And the Angels Were Silent'
2. Read a Philip Yancey book - I liked 'The Jesus I never Knew'
3. Read the short C.S. Lewis book - 'The Screwtape Letters'. Very insightful.
4. Don't miss church for the rest of the year.
5. Attend Advent services.
6. Attend at least one Bible study- we have plenty to choose from.
7. Read from the Bible a bit every day.
8. Find your old catechism and read a page or two a day.
9. Find a way to serve others and at church.
10. Develop a stronger daily prayer habit.
OK those are just starter ideas. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. We can start right now to break down our trip to the end of this year, to the end of our lives. It feels good to complete a segment, a task, and we already know that from experience don't we? So let's complete a few for the Lord! It'll make the trip more enjoyable and satisfying! Plus there's something better than a basketball game waiting at the end!
Blest Regards,
kp
Usually we have a full van of folks with us including my mom and dad, Sherri's dad and sometimes her sister. I like to break the trip down into shorter segments. It's an hour to Hamburg where break out the food for the last part of the trip. Then its 30 miles east to Braddyville which consists of three 10 mile intersections. Lastly its 23 miles south and east to Maryville. It always feels good to complete a segment as it gets you closer to your destination.
I'm doing the same thing with my cancer treatments. I have 3 rounds of chemo consisting of three weeks each. First segment is 4 hours in the recliner taking IV drugs. The next segment is 4 days of drugs through a backpack encased pump. Then a little over two weeks till the next round. Right now one round is done, and I'm in the middle of the backpack stage of round two. So I'm looking forward to getting this backpack off on Saturday at 5:00 PM to complete another step in my journey.
Right now I'm low on appetite and energy. To balance that, I'm high on nausea. You kinda get used to it after awhile but it still doesn't make it any fun. Sherri does a great job helping me get the right drugs at the right time to limit those oozy feelings. I focus on getting through these short segments and am glad to be almost halfway done with my chemo treatments. Time flies when you're having fun!
Thinking about time flying and segments, what if we set up segments or goals for our faithwalk? I mean what if we really determined to do some things to respnd better to all God has done for us. Remember that cross and free gift of grace thing He did? I put together a To-Do list for the time I am off (2 months) from work. What if we did that for our spiritual life as well?
Here's my idea. Why not jot down a few things you'd like to do to or even just try over the next couple months? Let me suggest 10 things to get the party started:
1. Read a Max Lucado book- I liked 'And the Angels Were Silent'
2. Read a Philip Yancey book - I liked 'The Jesus I never Knew'
3. Read the short C.S. Lewis book - 'The Screwtape Letters'. Very insightful.
4. Don't miss church for the rest of the year.
5. Attend Advent services.
6. Attend at least one Bible study- we have plenty to choose from.
7. Read from the Bible a bit every day.
8. Find your old catechism and read a page or two a day.
9. Find a way to serve others and at church.
10. Develop a stronger daily prayer habit.
OK those are just starter ideas. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. We can start right now to break down our trip to the end of this year, to the end of our lives. It feels good to complete a segment, a task, and we already know that from experience don't we? So let's complete a few for the Lord! It'll make the trip more enjoyable and satisfying! Plus there's something better than a basketball game waiting at the end!
Blest Regards,
kp
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Smells Like Noit-sa-roo Nop!
Every day on the way to school, I make Mate teach me a new Hungarian word. Early on I learned to say ‘great day’, noit-sa-roo nop. So now every time he gets out of the car at school I tell him to have a noit-sa-roo nop and that always makes him turn back to me and smile- mostly because of my poor pronunciation I am sure.
Great day. I had them in spades this past weekend. On Friday my two brand-spanking-new grandboys arrived. Logan and Luke had their very first great day November 6th. Of course they define great day as a warm blanket, a good nap, warm milk, and constant attention which now that I think about it is the same description my dad now uses for a great day.
Then on Saturday, Mate and I went out to the farm to watch the corn harvest. Mate rode on the combine for a few trips and had a great time. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and watching the harvest in action with my dad and Mate was great fun. Later that afternoon Mate and I drove to Lincoln to watch Nebraska whoop Oklahoma. Mate was amazed at the size of the stadium, the number of people, the band, the crowd noise level and the game itself. So as you can see, Saturday was a full day, a great day!
And maybe all this sounds right, that ‘great days’ are eventful, fun and exciting- it did to me as I was writing it anyway. But then I wondered what really and truly defines a ‘great day’. If a ‘great day’ is just a busy or fun day then I’d have to say it’s just like eating Chinese food, filling and satisfying for only the shortest of times. There has to be more to a ‘great day’ doesn’t there?
As I thought about it, I concluded the Bible tells us every day is a ‘noit-sa-roo nop’, a ‘great day’. Psalm 118:24 shouts ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. A God-made day is a great day by definition. He gifts us with a sunrise every morning and the canvas of another 24 hours to draw on and play in. Each day comes with God’s richest blessings of love and joy and mercy and grace. Could it be that any day is not a great day?
Even if every day is a great day, I had to think about a few great days that stand out in time. Like think about our world’s very first day. What a sunrise that must have been- and everything still had that new, just out of the box smell. Great day. Then the great days among great days really started coming to me- like Christmas and Easter, Passover and Pentecost, and really any day of the 33 years Jesus was kicking up dust. All great days among great days don’t you think?
I know at least a couple more standout great days are in our future starting with today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it, in today, and use it for His glory. And then there will be one final, one great, one last,end-all, noit-sa-roo nop. This is the eternal great day among all great days. Covered by Jesus blood and righteousness can’t you already smell our brand new, just out of the box, eternity? Till this last great day arrives, let’s rejoice and be glad to take our noit-sa-roo nops one great day at a time.
Blest Regards,
kp
Great day. I had them in spades this past weekend. On Friday my two brand-spanking-new grandboys arrived. Logan and Luke had their very first great day November 6th. Of course they define great day as a warm blanket, a good nap, warm milk, and constant attention which now that I think about it is the same description my dad now uses for a great day.
Then on Saturday, Mate and I went out to the farm to watch the corn harvest. Mate rode on the combine for a few trips and had a great time. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and watching the harvest in action with my dad and Mate was great fun. Later that afternoon Mate and I drove to Lincoln to watch Nebraska whoop Oklahoma. Mate was amazed at the size of the stadium, the number of people, the band, the crowd noise level and the game itself. So as you can see, Saturday was a full day, a great day!
And maybe all this sounds right, that ‘great days’ are eventful, fun and exciting- it did to me as I was writing it anyway. But then I wondered what really and truly defines a ‘great day’. If a ‘great day’ is just a busy or fun day then I’d have to say it’s just like eating Chinese food, filling and satisfying for only the shortest of times. There has to be more to a ‘great day’ doesn’t there?
As I thought about it, I concluded the Bible tells us every day is a ‘noit-sa-roo nop’, a ‘great day’. Psalm 118:24 shouts ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. A God-made day is a great day by definition. He gifts us with a sunrise every morning and the canvas of another 24 hours to draw on and play in. Each day comes with God’s richest blessings of love and joy and mercy and grace. Could it be that any day is not a great day?
Even if every day is a great day, I had to think about a few great days that stand out in time. Like think about our world’s very first day. What a sunrise that must have been- and everything still had that new, just out of the box smell. Great day. Then the great days among great days really started coming to me- like Christmas and Easter, Passover and Pentecost, and really any day of the 33 years Jesus was kicking up dust. All great days among great days don’t you think?
I know at least a couple more standout great days are in our future starting with today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it, in today, and use it for His glory. And then there will be one final, one great, one last,end-all, noit-sa-roo nop. This is the eternal great day among all great days. Covered by Jesus blood and righteousness can’t you already smell our brand new, just out of the box, eternity? Till this last great day arrives, let’s rejoice and be glad to take our noit-sa-roo nops one great day at a time.
Blest Regards,
kp
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Bowling for Healing!
Did I ever tell you I used to bowl? Twenty years ago I bowled a couple nights a week and one of those was a very competitive league down in South Omaha at the now torn down Leisure Lanes. I carried a 200 plus average and just missed the holy grail of bowling a 300 game by two pins. Today bowling isn't as big with others or me.
Bowling alleys in those days were notorious for smoke. Since I didn't really do bars or drink much, if smoking has had anything to do with my cancer that's the best I'm gonna come up with. I'm not looking for blame here, rather the thought came up when I remembered the old bowling phrase 'trust is a must or your game is a bust' which refers to throwing a hook ball to within a board or two of the gutter then having it come back for a strike.
I'm relating to that goofy line right now on a completely different level. I'm still pretty queasy from all the chemo and to some degree still headed for the gutter. I'm trying to turn the ship but this isn't really a matter of focus, it's a matter of healing which I'm learning again takes time and patience and trust. Everyday I thank God for a good prognosis which honestly makes trust way easier for me. Not everyone gets such news.
Yet God reminded me this past weekend about the the level of trust everyone of every prognosis, good or bad can have in His promises. In our Gideon breakfast Saturday morning we read in Titus 1 vs 2: 'My message is based on the confidence of eternal life. God who never lies promised this eternal life before the world began.' Can't lie! Hope is ours!
Knowing this helps me appreciate the words of a Ginny Owens song which fits me pretty closely these days:
Cause I'm not who I am
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
so if all these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.
It may not be the way I have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
Only that I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.
An interesting thing about that old bowling league- the secretary was a math teacher at Benson and we had information like no other league. He kept track of scores, developed standard deviations and used them to determine our most consistant and most explosive bowlers. Guess where I ranked- always top 2 or 3 'explosive' - which might sound good at first but really is another way of saying 'inconsistant'! Let's all move to the 'most consistant' list when it comes to trust during our hard times and good times.
Blest Regards to All,
kp
Bowling alleys in those days were notorious for smoke. Since I didn't really do bars or drink much, if smoking has had anything to do with my cancer that's the best I'm gonna come up with. I'm not looking for blame here, rather the thought came up when I remembered the old bowling phrase 'trust is a must or your game is a bust' which refers to throwing a hook ball to within a board or two of the gutter then having it come back for a strike.
I'm relating to that goofy line right now on a completely different level. I'm still pretty queasy from all the chemo and to some degree still headed for the gutter. I'm trying to turn the ship but this isn't really a matter of focus, it's a matter of healing which I'm learning again takes time and patience and trust. Everyday I thank God for a good prognosis which honestly makes trust way easier for me. Not everyone gets such news.
Yet God reminded me this past weekend about the the level of trust everyone of every prognosis, good or bad can have in His promises. In our Gideon breakfast Saturday morning we read in Titus 1 vs 2: 'My message is based on the confidence of eternal life. God who never lies promised this eternal life before the world began.' Can't lie! Hope is ours!
Knowing this helps me appreciate the words of a Ginny Owens song which fits me pretty closely these days:
Cause I'm not who I am
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
so if all these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.
It may not be the way I have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
Only that I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.
An interesting thing about that old bowling league- the secretary was a math teacher at Benson and we had information like no other league. He kept track of scores, developed standard deviations and used them to determine our most consistant and most explosive bowlers. Guess where I ranked- always top 2 or 3 'explosive' - which might sound good at first but really is another way of saying 'inconsistant'! Let's all move to the 'most consistant' list when it comes to trust during our hard times and good times.
Blest Regards to All,
kp
Monday, October 26, 2009
Chemo Time!
Let the cartoon begin! With those words the King of Cartoons would play a new cartoon at Pee-Wee Herman's playhouse on his old TV show. Those words sort of resonate for me for some goofy reason. Like how all this is really happening but doesn't seem quite real yet, like it's still just a cartoon- but the cartoon is quickly fading and reality setting in as chemo drugs have been poured in.
This past Friday we had a good meeting with my Oncologist again, Dr. Soori, who is positive about my prognosis. That's great news. I think having hope is the most important element in fighting cancer and I have plenty of it. The type of cancer I have is usually very responsive to the treatment program they have developed with noticeable results after just one week. I'll do 3 or 4 sessions to kill as many cancer cells as possible- hopefully all of of them.
After the Dr. visit came the chemo which consists of long IV treatments poured into me through a port which I had surgically inserted in my rock hard chest last week. So from 11:30 AM or so till about 4:30 PM I was filled up with my chemo drugs and other things to help keep my juices flowing so as not to damage my kidneys. Then I received a backpack (looks like a college bookbag) with more chemo and saline which I which I wore for 4 days and nights.
This first round gives you an idea of what's to come. Generally dealing with a slight case of naseau at all times isn't to much fun. Eating lighter is the rule- with the weight loss benefit of most likely losing 30 extra pounds or so. Each round of chemo comes 3 weeks apart so 4 rounds will take 9 weeks I now calculate my last treatment on Christmas Day! Maybe there's another message of hope there for me!
Then my team of doctors will decide about possible radiation but this may not be possible as I've been down this road before and a guys head can only be microwaved so much. Too much radiation can start more cancer than it kills. Lastly I will undergo surgery again to remove all the impacted lymph nodes. And then I will start feeling better, my hair will regrow, my stamina increase- and I return to full health, that's my hope anyway.
This morning I tell you all this as a message of HOPE for you as well. As I mentioned earlier, hope is a big deal to cancer patients. It provides a reason for perseverence and determination to get through the hard times. The Bible speaks directly to hope in this context of suffering. Part of my wife's life verses (Romans 5: 1-5) reads, ' 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.'
In these few verses we learn God provides in suffering an amazing gift for each of us- a gift of eternal healing. He calls this gift HOPE which I define as the sure confidence of salvation. No matter what you suffer through, for those who believe in Jesus' saving work, the gift of HOPE will help get you through. Healing hope helps cancer patients, heavenly HOPE strengthens believers! I hope heavenly hope is all you need! I'm taking my fair share of the other!
Hopeful Regards,
kp
This past Friday we had a good meeting with my Oncologist again, Dr. Soori, who is positive about my prognosis. That's great news. I think having hope is the most important element in fighting cancer and I have plenty of it. The type of cancer I have is usually very responsive to the treatment program they have developed with noticeable results after just one week. I'll do 3 or 4 sessions to kill as many cancer cells as possible- hopefully all of of them.
After the Dr. visit came the chemo which consists of long IV treatments poured into me through a port which I had surgically inserted in my rock hard chest last week. So from 11:30 AM or so till about 4:30 PM I was filled up with my chemo drugs and other things to help keep my juices flowing so as not to damage my kidneys. Then I received a backpack (looks like a college bookbag) with more chemo and saline which I which I wore for 4 days and nights.
This first round gives you an idea of what's to come. Generally dealing with a slight case of naseau at all times isn't to much fun. Eating lighter is the rule- with the weight loss benefit of most likely losing 30 extra pounds or so. Each round of chemo comes 3 weeks apart so 4 rounds will take 9 weeks I now calculate my last treatment on Christmas Day! Maybe there's another message of hope there for me!
Then my team of doctors will decide about possible radiation but this may not be possible as I've been down this road before and a guys head can only be microwaved so much. Too much radiation can start more cancer than it kills. Lastly I will undergo surgery again to remove all the impacted lymph nodes. And then I will start feeling better, my hair will regrow, my stamina increase- and I return to full health, that's my hope anyway.
This morning I tell you all this as a message of HOPE for you as well. As I mentioned earlier, hope is a big deal to cancer patients. It provides a reason for perseverence and determination to get through the hard times. The Bible speaks directly to hope in this context of suffering. Part of my wife's life verses (Romans 5: 1-5) reads, ' 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.'
In these few verses we learn God provides in suffering an amazing gift for each of us- a gift of eternal healing. He calls this gift HOPE which I define as the sure confidence of salvation. No matter what you suffer through, for those who believe in Jesus' saving work, the gift of HOPE will help get you through. Healing hope helps cancer patients, heavenly HOPE strengthens believers! I hope heavenly hope is all you need! I'm taking my fair share of the other!
Hopeful Regards,
kp
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Just a Closer Walk with Thee!
My news yesterday was pretty good as far as cancer news goes. Cancer 'rollercoaster' is a term commonly used to describe the news that cancer patients get. Good news one day, difficult news the next. Sherri and I experienced this to some extent in my last cancer adventure. One day benign, the next day cancer, body scans good, cancer extremely dangerous and on and on it went ending with good news. This time we already had some good news in our pocket, that my old cancer was not back which would have been very difficult news.
So walking into the doctor's office yesterday, Sherri and I really didn't know what to expect. I had just completed two days of tests with machines that now know me more intimately than I care to share with you here. I drank contrast, had dye put in my IV, and even had some radioactive material injected into my veins- all to see what was going on inside me.
Dr. Soori walked in and began reading the test results. Cancer here of this size, cancer there of that size and oh, another cancer over here. EEEESH! Stop already. Then the good news. No throat cancer, no lung cancer, no chest cancer and no cancer in the southern regions. Bottom line, we are fortunate not to be dealing with more difficult news this morning. The cancer I have is still pretty localized to the neck (though starting to head south to the arm pit) but is very treatable and most likely curable. I have to do chemo and surgery and maybe radiation again but this stuff is usually beatable. And that's exactly what I intend to do again. Stupid cancer.
Interestingly, in Sunday School this past Sunday we talked about Old Testament folks who lived 800 or 900 years, guys like Methusela. That sounded pretty cool especially since no one gets that many years anymore. Then we talked about three guys who didn't die- Enoch, Elijah, and Jesus. We learned how Enoch just walked off with God to heaven. That sounded like a pretty good way to get there. The key to walking off to heaven with God is walking with God in the first place don't you think? One commentary put 'walking with God' in these terms, 'while others lived to themselves and the world, Enoch lived to God. It was the joy and support of his life. Communion with God was to him better than life itself.'
We've been exploring that very topic in our Thursday Bible Study 'In the Dust of the Rabbi' which refers to the tradition of disciples walking so closely to their rabbis that they were always in the dust the rabbi's feet stirred up. The overarching point is that we are to be walking that close to our rabbi Jesus today. What a different church we would have if we were all walking 'Enoch close' to Jesus. These thoughts return to mind as I consider my reaction to my cancer news. In some ways my new cancer adventure seems like a call to me from Jesus himself saying, 'Hey, you're lagging behind a bit. Walk a little closer please.'
Maybe my wake up call, my walk closer call can be your snooze alarm. As children of God maybe it's time to grab a leg as young ones sometimes do with parents and hang on for dear life. I know I did this past week. I'm not going to be letting go anytime soon. That's how close my walk is right now. As such, my prayer this week comes from an old hymn: 'Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.'
So this week begins my new cancer adventure. Friday I spend the day in an easy chair having chemo drugs poured into me. Then I get 4 days of drugs in a small backpack I'll carry with me. Then three weeks later we start the process over again. We'll do this routine three or four times. Here's the bottom line, I may lose my hair and some weight but I won't lose my grip. I'm holding on to my God-given faith with both hands as I walk in His dust. Dust and chemo are my keys to success! Let it be, dear Lord let it be so!
Dustily Yours,
kp
So walking into the doctor's office yesterday, Sherri and I really didn't know what to expect. I had just completed two days of tests with machines that now know me more intimately than I care to share with you here. I drank contrast, had dye put in my IV, and even had some radioactive material injected into my veins- all to see what was going on inside me.
Dr. Soori walked in and began reading the test results. Cancer here of this size, cancer there of that size and oh, another cancer over here. EEEESH! Stop already. Then the good news. No throat cancer, no lung cancer, no chest cancer and no cancer in the southern regions. Bottom line, we are fortunate not to be dealing with more difficult news this morning. The cancer I have is still pretty localized to the neck (though starting to head south to the arm pit) but is very treatable and most likely curable. I have to do chemo and surgery and maybe radiation again but this stuff is usually beatable. And that's exactly what I intend to do again. Stupid cancer.
Interestingly, in Sunday School this past Sunday we talked about Old Testament folks who lived 800 or 900 years, guys like Methusela. That sounded pretty cool especially since no one gets that many years anymore. Then we talked about three guys who didn't die- Enoch, Elijah, and Jesus. We learned how Enoch just walked off with God to heaven. That sounded like a pretty good way to get there. The key to walking off to heaven with God is walking with God in the first place don't you think? One commentary put 'walking with God' in these terms, 'while others lived to themselves and the world, Enoch lived to God. It was the joy and support of his life. Communion with God was to him better than life itself.'
We've been exploring that very topic in our Thursday Bible Study 'In the Dust of the Rabbi' which refers to the tradition of disciples walking so closely to their rabbis that they were always in the dust the rabbi's feet stirred up. The overarching point is that we are to be walking that close to our rabbi Jesus today. What a different church we would have if we were all walking 'Enoch close' to Jesus. These thoughts return to mind as I consider my reaction to my cancer news. In some ways my new cancer adventure seems like a call to me from Jesus himself saying, 'Hey, you're lagging behind a bit. Walk a little closer please.'
Maybe my wake up call, my walk closer call can be your snooze alarm. As children of God maybe it's time to grab a leg as young ones sometimes do with parents and hang on for dear life. I know I did this past week. I'm not going to be letting go anytime soon. That's how close my walk is right now. As such, my prayer this week comes from an old hymn: 'Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.'
So this week begins my new cancer adventure. Friday I spend the day in an easy chair having chemo drugs poured into me. Then I get 4 days of drugs in a small backpack I'll carry with me. Then three weeks later we start the process over again. We'll do this routine three or four times. Here's the bottom line, I may lose my hair and some weight but I won't lose my grip. I'm holding on to my God-given faith with both hands as I walk in His dust. Dust and chemo are my keys to success! Let it be, dear Lord let it be so!
Dustily Yours,
kp
A new thing!
I'm going to start publishing my weekly 'Bottom Corner Thoughts' which I write for my church newsletter on this site as well so others can read them if they so choose. I guess this will be an additional archive of sorts.
Lately, most of these are more health updates than anything as I begin another battle with cancer- unrelated to the first five years ago. I'm just a two-time lucky cancer lottery winner.
I write to encourage, to build faith and to inspire others to action. I hope I can do that for you as well.
Blest Regards,
kp
Lately, most of these are more health updates than anything as I begin another battle with cancer- unrelated to the first five years ago. I'm just a two-time lucky cancer lottery winner.
I write to encourage, to build faith and to inspire others to action. I hope I can do that for you as well.
Blest Regards,
kp
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)