Losing Touch?

OK, here is something wierd chemo did almost right from the beginning of my treatment. It took off the top layer of skin from my fingertips. Bizarre. This last round of chemo added the treat of a nice rashlike redness on the back of my hands complete with a nice swelling. Then my skin dried up into something that resembled Incredible Hulk scaley texture and completed the cycle with some very ugly peeling. Nice touch so to speak.

I mention this bacause my trip to the doctor this week resulted in two more prescriptions. I had to smile as I thought that you can tell how rough the health waters are for a person by looking at the number of 'white caps' (prescrition lids) by their bed. I've lost count at this point but I'm somewhere around 15 different medicines at one point or another during this treatment.

Peripial neuropathy is also a gift of chemo- losing feeling in your fingers and feet. My symptoms were really pretty light (compared to last time) until this last go around but now I have a nice case of both which I hope will recede again as I get further and further away from treatment. So this past month hasn't been a great one for my mitts but we're hangin in there!

Maybe we don't give it much thought, maybe we take it for granted but our sense of touch is so important. Losing even a partial sense of touch is disconcerting. Take it from me, periphial neuropathy isn't much fun. Which got me to wondering if we as a church, maybe as individuals are suffering from a case of spiritual periphial neuropathy.

Of course Jesus had a wonderful touch- almost all His healing miracles involved a touch. Leprosy, bleeding, blindness and even cut off ears were healed by His touch. And I wonder if we have lost that healing touch today as a church, if in our spiritual neuropathy we back away from or ignore opportunities to help a hurting world that so badly needs our touch.

I saw a commercial last night for a TV show about life after people on earth where a statue of Jesus loses His hands. Not sure what that has to do with the show but it reminded me that there are a number of stories about statues of Jesus without hands. The point is that today we are to be the hands and feet of God. But are we losing touch with our mission? Casting Crowns wonders about our lack of action in their song 'If we are the Body':

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?

And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? There is a way?

This week I hope you and I see and sieze an opportunity to touch a life for Jesus by giving or helpig in some way. Let's be touchers. I'm counting on my rash and neuropathy to diminish with time and hoping the same thing happens for us as Christians and as a church as well.

Blest Regards,
kp

Chris Somebody

Today's thought recalls an entertaining conversation Sherri and I shared this week on our drive to Kansas City. We were on our way to pick up our son Jake from the airport there. His college basketball team was returning from a Las Vegas tournament and we were excitied to get to see him again.

As we drove we listened to cds we had brought along for the trip. An hour into our trip I slid in Chris Rice's greatest hits and started to listen. This is where our conversation begins.

Sherri: Who is this?
Keith: You know his name, I'm not going to tell you.
S: I know- he sings the 'Cartoon Song'.
K: We saw him in concert.
S: Yeah, in Elmwood Park. I still can't think of his name- I know it, just can't think of it. Give me a clue, what's his first name start with?
K: C
S: Chris? Yeah it's Chris. Chris Something. Chris Somebody. I still don't know. Give me another clue.
K: Food.
S: Chris Banana, Chris Strawberry. I still don't know. Chris Hamburger. Give me another clue.
K: Asian favorite food.
S: Noodles. Chris Noodles.
K: Stop, that's not right.
S: Chicken. Chris Chicken
K: When did chicken become the favorite Asian food?
S: Raman, Chris Ramen!

The thought of Ramen soup being the favorite food of Asian people everywhere just struck me as absolutely hilarious and I began to laugh so hard I asked Sherri to stop guessing.

K: Stop, just stop, you're killing me.

Then in a moment of revelation one could clearly see on her face long before she said it, Sherri cried out-

S: RICE!!! It's Chris Rice!

And with that we shared a 'you had to be there' laugh that lasted minutes, the kind that waters your eyes and comes from the very bottom of your belly. The kind of laugh that doesn't go away quickly as it cleans the soul and makes a memory.

We need those good laughs every so often don't we? I mean life can be hard- we know that at our house especially during the past rough week of chemo. And yet God has given us the gift of humor and laughter and joy. My very lifeverse starts with 'Be joyful always' (1Thess 5:16).

Be joyful always reminds me to enjoy the ride. Life is a great gift to be enjoyed, not endured. LOL is more than a teen icon. 'Laugh out loud' should be a Christian way of life. The Bible reminds us over and over of the joy that comes from having a Savior who loves us, who offers forgiveness and grace and eternal life.

It's no accident that the angels announced Jesus' arrival by telling shepherds they had 'good news of great joy'! At the very begining and at the very core of our faith is a message of joy! You know, bring a smile to your face, contain your happiness kind of joy. Maybe even share a laugh kind of joy. This is the kind of joyful faith I pray you share with others this Christmas.

Christmas Blessings,
kp

Payphrase!

Greetings to you from the valley! The two weeks after chemo bring a myriad of health challenges and this week has brought some entertaining new ones and really done a better job of turning up the screws on a couple others. It's amazing how the body gets a little irritated and out of whack when you dump a bunch of toxins in for 5 days!

No part of my body seems immune to breaking down this time, at least a bit. My skin, sense of touch, taste, energy, stomach, balance, and thinking all have taken a pretty good hit. Still I try my best to stay at least a little active- even get out of the house on cold days for short periods of time to help bring mental healing if nothing else.

Like last Saturday, how I was getting ready to go watch Jake play basketball in Missouri and backed our van into the garage door shattering the back window out. I chalked it up to what some people call 'chemo brain'. Thankfully the garage door was okay- in this case the clear winner of car vs door.

All this allowed me the opportunity to drive without a back window on the coldest day of the year to go get a new one this past Monday. It was 25 degrees plus colder outside than the temp we keep our freezer at- that just boggles my mind. Anyway, thanks to insurance we're only $100 poorer but I'm sure it will cost me much more than that in a lifetime of jokes and comments if nothing else.

Not having the energy to get out and shop which I do enjoy, I've been doing some internet shopping which has worked out very nicely. After finishing a recent purchase at Amazon.com I was given the opportunity to select or make up a 'payphrase' for a one-click checkout which seemed like a pretty cool feature. But the most interesting thing was the phrase they suggested for me- 'Keith's existing hope'.

Now if you've read more than one or two of my blogs you know that 'hope' is one of my most favorite words meaning 'sure confidence of salvation'. Christmas only reminds me even more of my hope thanks to a baby born in a manger. Angels hearalded my suggested payphrase for all mankind over 2000 years ago proclaimong, 'you now have an existing hope!' Who among us can really grasp the depth of such an amazing proclamation and gift?

Health adventures help remind us He, Jesus is the only hope that really matters. And while I am so very thankful for all the healing hope God has shown Sherri and I so far, this Christmas we will again be focused on the hope that knows no valleys! Have a blessed Christmas!

Hopefully Yours,
KP

Respect and Reverence

It's a bit strange, waiting to get sick. Usually getting sick is an unpleasant surprise but for the chemo patient getting sick is a known result. Loss of appetite, constant nausea and a lack of energy are all on the way. The good news is after a another fingertip scans it appears all the cancer has either gone or shrunk to a point it can no longer be felt. So this could be my last round of chemo- yea! We'll do a full PET scan at the end of the year to get a final answer.

Health test results are always stressful events. Maybe you know what I mean. My biopsy test results delivered by my surgeon Dr Dobleman, brought good news and bad news. The bad news was I indeed had cancer again. The good news was it was a different more curable form of cancer. So Sherri and I left the doctor's office with an optimistic measure of hope knowing we had the best doctors around who would give me every opportunity to beat this disease a second time!

Hearing the details of these results with my oncologist Dr. Soori provided even more stress as he outlined all the places my cancer had spread to. Most were in my melon and neck with one rouge group setting up shop in my upper armpit. I remember telling doc, 'enough already'! Then some good news, all my organs were cancer-free. Nothing in the lung or kidneys or liver. The bone scan was all clear. Dr. Soori told us this was the most treatable head and neck cancer they see with very high cure rates- way different than my last cancer.

Having cancer or any serious disease I might guess, gives a person a reason to reflect on what is really important in life. I've had a chance to consider this as well. For me, I don't really see many big changes coming as a result. If anything, this adventure has only reaffirmed my priorities of the importance of faith, and my love for family. The importance of faith and hope in the healing process is clear. But the importance of faith for an eternal healing is even more important.

The fact is we all have a big test coming up one day- on the last day. Thinking about that test result can be stressful and cause fear as well. Luther spent years beating himself up over his lack of righteousness, his undeserving performance- and he was monk who spent his days in prayer and study. Thankfully he found in Romans 1 a confidence that Jesus' righteousness is ours if we don't reject it. In short we have the key, the answer to the test- Jesus! Luther turned his fear and stress into a joy and confidence in believing.

Yet Luther still reminds us constantly in the catechism that we are to 'fear and love God above all things'. Here fear means to have a respect, a reverence for God's power and authority. Proverbs 1:7 famously tells us that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'. Want to get smart? Then fear the Lord!

The good news is the fear of God, a respect and reverence for God, frees us from all other fears- even ones related to medical tests. John writes "Fear not, for I am with you. I will never leave you nor forsake, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (Jn 14). Sometimes that's easier said than done. But we'll do our best to do just that as we look for good test results at the end of the year.


Blest Regards,
kp

Whimsical

This morning I seem to have a bit of energy. That's been missing for a couple weeks so I appreciate the opportunity to get up and get active even if its only for a short bit. Hey, you take what you can get! The quick health update is that I'm getting through another rough stretch this time complete with periphial neuropathy- meaning I'm losing some feeling in my hands and feet. All this is fine with me as long as I keep winning the cancer battle! All the news so far has been good on this most important front and so side effects are to me just a temporary inconvenience.

I have been doing a bit of reading and just finished 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years' by Donald Miller. He's one of my favorite authors especially from a style perspective. In this book Miller writes about the process of having his life made into a movie based on his bestseller 'Blue Like Jazz' - a book I also enjoyed. The result is Miller wonders as they rewrite the details of his life to make it more interesting, if we could rewrite the details of our own lives for real, what would you write?

In his travels Miller meets a man who is leading a successful life and trying to help as many people as he can. And he asks Bob, what is the key to living such a great story and he answers, 'he didn't think we should be afraid to embrace whimsey.' Miller goes on to write, ' I asked him what he meant by whimsey and he struggled to define it. He said its that nagging idea that life could be magical, it could be something special if we were only to take a few risks.'

And those words ring true to the very heart of me from experience. How my greatest worship moment came in the mountains of Colorado with 50,000 other men because Atonement men stepped out in faith to take a trip they had no idea about. Or how on a still evening on a windy hill the LCMS balloon glowed brightly for all to see. Or I could give you numerous Atonement concert or VBS stories filled with risks and ending with whimsey-faith building life memories.

Miller writes, 'I believe there is a writer outside ourselves, plotting a better story for us, interacting with us, even, and whispering a better story into our consciousness.' And I too believe this- that we are called out of our comfort zones into an active faith to write the best story we possibly can with our lives by the grace and help of God. I remember writing about the saints being disponable- having listening ears connected to prepared hearts, ready to act on God's call.

We too are saints. We can be disponable. God is calling us out of our comfort zones to our own whimsical story, a story filled with risks and work sure, but also one filled with even greater joy and love for one another and service to others. When God directs the story, the whimsey of a silent night becomes filled with angels and glory. Storms become water-walking opportunities. Dinner becomes a miraculous feast for 5,000. These are God's whimsical stories- so much richer and fuller than the ones we dream of on our own.

'Whimsical Lutheran Church', wouldn't that be a name to raise eyebrows? Maybe that won't fly but what great story would God write for a whimsical church, unafraid to take risks in His name? What great adventures would we have? How many lives could we impact for Him? I hope we all get to find out someday! See you Sunday.

Whimsically Yours,
kp

Braveheart Chemo

Well it's week two of round 2 of chemo. And that means right now I'm feeling good enough to want to do something but not good enough TO do something. The fog hasn't completely lifted, my energy is taking a rest break and my stomach is still issuing complaints (wait in line) and refusing ro accept much except soup. Living in a bit of a never-never land I guess. I've never been off work this long- now a week, except on vacation, and I don't like not working already.

Anyway, as I take time to heal up, I've been reading 'Three Cups of Tea' by Greg Mortensen David Oliver Revlin. It's about how Mr. Mortenson who failed at climbing K2, the second tallest mountain in the world was rescued on his descent and healed up in a small Pakistani village. Here he falls in love with the native people who cared for him and he promises to come back and build a school for them which he does.

The book goes on to chronicle the difficult task of building schools (he goes on to build many more) that don't teach hate in an area known for both a harsh environment and religion- Islam. And the book makes me realize how intricate all the details are that go into what is happening in Afghanistan and Pakistan at this very moment. How tribes and different faiths and the stunning land form their unique soup of life. And in this wild mix of circumstances, America is trying to respond to help the most people we can. Who can understand it all?


Which I guess is a little like what is happening inside me right now. Like how my cancer cells are now in a battle against all these toxic drugs I keep pouring down my port. I imagine as soon as my chemo goes in it passes by all my good cells and heads for my neck, swords raised and ready to do bloody battle. Meanwhile cancer cells rally together to defend themselves- that's really about how well I understand what's actually happening. Sort of a 'Braveheart' theory of a cancer battle I guess. Again, who can truly understand the intracacies of what is really happening inside of me?

When you stop to think about it, we have been given such an amazing and marvelous world haven't we? Creation is at once both complex and simple. We enjoy the beauty of a simple sunset through the vision of our intricately designed eyes. Romans 1 tells us God is clearly visible to all in His creation and I would have added deserving of a round of applause.

These rambling thoughts were coming to mind as I realized that no matter how much I try I will never understand all that is going on right now in yet another major battle- the battle for my heart and mind and soul. The Bible talks about this, about us having a Savior, an advocate, clouds of witnesses, angels cheering - a win is a big deal in heaven! Why? Because forces of darkness and Satan prowl and plan and work to our demise. And like my Braveheart chemo drugs theory we at best only seem to have or want really a vague understanding of what is really happening behind the curtain of eternity. Thankfully we have our God-given faith to cling to in this battle!

Let me encourage you today to explore all the beauty and details of God's creation. Take time to explore God's Word, and the faith He has given you. It's amazing. Let's have more than a simple Jesus as Braveheart theory of salvation. Let's find even more beauty in in learning about Him.

Blest Regards,
kp

Breakin Down the Trip

It's that time of year again when we make weekly or twice weekly trips to Maryville Missouri to watch Jake play basketball. It's about a two hour drive each way but worth the trip as its great to watch Jake play and have dinner with him or just talk with him after the game.

Usually we have a full van of folks with us including my mom and dad, Sherri's dad and sometimes her sister. I like to break the trip down into shorter segments. It's an hour to Hamburg where break out the food for the last part of the trip. Then its 30 miles east to Braddyville which consists of three 10 mile intersections. Lastly its 23 miles south and east to Maryville. It always feels good to complete a segment as it gets you closer to your destination.

I'm doing the same thing with my cancer treatments. I have 3 rounds of chemo consisting of three weeks each. First segment is 4 hours in the recliner taking IV drugs. The next segment is 4 days of drugs through a backpack encased pump. Then a little over two weeks till the next round. Right now one round is done, and I'm in the middle of the backpack stage of round two. So I'm looking forward to getting this backpack off on Saturday at 5:00 PM to complete another step in my journey.

Right now I'm low on appetite and energy. To balance that, I'm high on nausea. You kinda get used to it after awhile but it still doesn't make it any fun. Sherri does a great job helping me get the right drugs at the right time to limit those oozy feelings. I focus on getting through these short segments and am glad to be almost halfway done with my chemo treatments. Time flies when you're having fun!

Thinking about time flying and segments, what if we set up segments or goals for our faithwalk? I mean what if we really determined to do some things to respnd better to all God has done for us. Remember that cross and free gift of grace thing He did? I put together a To-Do list for the time I am off (2 months) from work. What if we did that for our spiritual life as well?

Here's my idea. Why not jot down a few things you'd like to do to or even just try over the next couple months? Let me suggest 10 things to get the party started:
1. Read a Max Lucado book- I liked 'And the Angels Were Silent'
2. Read a Philip Yancey book - I liked 'The Jesus I never Knew'
3. Read the short C.S. Lewis book - 'The Screwtape Letters'. Very insightful.
4. Don't miss church for the rest of the year.
5. Attend Advent services.
6. Attend at least one Bible study- we have plenty to choose from.
7. Read from the Bible a bit every day.
8. Find your old catechism and read a page or two a day.
9. Find a way to serve others and at church.
10. Develop a stronger daily prayer habit.

OK those are just starter ideas. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. We can start right now to break down our trip to the end of this year, to the end of our lives. It feels good to complete a segment, a task, and we already know that from experience don't we? So let's complete a few for the Lord! It'll make the trip more enjoyable and satisfying! Plus there's something better than a basketball game waiting at the end!

Blest Regards,
kp

Smells Like Noit-sa-roo Nop!

Every day on the way to school, I make Mate teach me a new Hungarian word. Early on I learned to say ‘great day’, noit-sa-roo nop. So now every time he gets out of the car at school I tell him to have a noit-sa-roo nop and that always makes him turn back to me and smile- mostly because of my poor pronunciation I am sure.

Great day. I had them in spades this past weekend. On Friday my two brand-spanking-new grandboys arrived. Logan and Luke had their very first great day November 6th. Of course they define great day as a warm blanket, a good nap, warm milk, and constant attention which now that I think about it is the same description my dad now uses for a great day.

Then on Saturday, Mate and I went out to the farm to watch the corn harvest. Mate rode on the combine for a few trips and had a great time. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and watching the harvest in action with my dad and Mate was great fun. Later that afternoon Mate and I drove to Lincoln to watch Nebraska whoop Oklahoma. Mate was amazed at the size of the stadium, the number of people, the band, the crowd noise level and the game itself. So as you can see, Saturday was a full day, a great day!

And maybe all this sounds right, that ‘great days’ are eventful, fun and exciting- it did to me as I was writing it anyway. But then I wondered what really and truly defines a ‘great day’. If a ‘great day’ is just a busy or fun day then I’d have to say it’s just like eating Chinese food, filling and satisfying for only the shortest of times. There has to be more to a ‘great day’ doesn’t there?

As I thought about it, I concluded the Bible tells us every day is a ‘noit-sa-roo nop’, a ‘great day’. Psalm 118:24 shouts ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. A God-made day is a great day by definition. He gifts us with a sunrise every morning and the canvas of another 24 hours to draw on and play in. Each day comes with God’s richest blessings of love and joy and mercy and grace. Could it be that any day is not a great day?

Even if every day is a great day, I had to think about a few great days that stand out in time. Like think about our world’s very first day. What a sunrise that must have been- and everything still had that new, just out of the box smell. Great day. Then the great days among great days really started coming to me- like Christmas and Easter, Passover and Pentecost, and really any day of the 33 years Jesus was kicking up dust. All great days among great days don’t you think?

I know at least a couple more standout great days are in our future starting with today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it, in today, and use it for His glory. And then there will be one final, one great, one last,end-all, noit-sa-roo nop. This is the eternal great day among all great days. Covered by Jesus blood and righteousness can’t you already smell our brand new, just out of the box, eternity? Till this last great day arrives, let’s rejoice and be glad to take our noit-sa-roo nops one great day at a time.

Blest Regards,
kp

Bowling for Healing!

Did I ever tell you I used to bowl? Twenty years ago I bowled a couple nights a week and one of those was a very competitive league down in South Omaha at the now torn down Leisure Lanes. I carried a 200 plus average and just missed the holy grail of bowling a 300 game by two pins. Today bowling isn't as big with others or me.


Bowling alleys in those days were notorious for smoke. Since I didn't really do bars or drink much, if smoking has had anything to do with my cancer that's the best I'm gonna come up with. I'm not looking for blame here, rather the thought came up when I remembered the old bowling phrase 'trust is a must or your game is a bust' which refers to throwing a hook ball to within a board or two of the gutter then having it come back for a strike.


I'm relating to that goofy line right now on a completely different level. I'm still pretty queasy from all the chemo and to some degree still headed for the gutter. I'm trying to turn the ship but this isn't really a matter of focus, it's a matter of healing which I'm learning again takes time and patience and trust. Everyday I thank God for a good prognosis which honestly makes trust way easier for me. Not everyone gets such news.

Yet God reminded me this past weekend about the the level of trust everyone of every prognosis, good or bad can have in His promises. In our Gideon breakfast Saturday morning we read in Titus 1 vs 2: 'My message is based on the confidence of eternal life. God who never lies promised this eternal life before the world began.' Can't lie! Hope is ours!

Knowing this helps me appreciate the words of a Ginny Owens song which fits me pretty closely these days:

Cause I'm not who I am
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
so if all these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.

It may not be the way I have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
Only that I'd never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.

An interesting thing about that old bowling league- the secretary was a math teacher at Benson and we had information like no other league. He kept track of scores, developed standard deviations and used them to determine our most consistant and most explosive bowlers. Guess where I ranked- always top 2 or 3 'explosive' - which might sound good at first but really is another way of saying 'inconsistant'! Let's all move to the 'most consistant' list when it comes to trust during our hard times and good times.

Blest Regards to All,
kp

Chemo Time!

Let the cartoon begin! With those words the King of Cartoons would play a new cartoon at Pee-Wee Herman's playhouse on his old TV show. Those words sort of resonate for me for some goofy reason. Like how all this is really happening but doesn't seem quite real yet, like it's still just a cartoon- but the cartoon is quickly fading and reality setting in as chemo drugs have been poured in.


This past Friday we had a good meeting with my Oncologist again, Dr. Soori, who is positive about my prognosis. That's great news. I think having hope is the most important element in fighting cancer and I have plenty of it. The type of cancer I have is usually very responsive to the treatment program they have developed with noticeable results after just one week. I'll do 3 or 4 sessions to kill as many cancer cells as possible- hopefully all of of them.


After the Dr. visit came the chemo which consists of long IV treatments poured into me through a port which I had surgically inserted in my rock hard chest last week. So from 11:30 AM or so till about 4:30 PM I was filled up with my chemo drugs and other things to help keep my juices flowing so as not to damage my kidneys. Then I received a backpack (looks like a college bookbag) with more chemo and saline which I which I wore for 4 days and nights.


This first round gives you an idea of what's to come. Generally dealing with a slight case of naseau at all times isn't to much fun. Eating lighter is the rule- with the weight loss benefit of most likely losing 30 extra pounds or so. Each round of chemo comes 3 weeks apart so 4 rounds will take 9 weeks I now calculate my last treatment on Christmas Day! Maybe there's another message of hope there for me!


Then my team of doctors will decide about possible radiation but this may not be possible as I've been down this road before and a guys head can only be microwaved so much. Too much radiation can start more cancer than it kills. Lastly I will undergo surgery again to remove all the impacted lymph nodes. And then I will start feeling better, my hair will regrow, my stamina increase- and I return to full health, that's my hope anyway.

This morning I tell you all this as a message of HOPE for you as well. As I mentioned earlier, hope is a big deal to cancer patients. It provides a reason for perseverence and determination to get through the hard times. The Bible speaks directly to hope in this context of suffering. Part of my wife's life verses (Romans 5: 1-5) reads, ' 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.'

In these few verses we learn God provides in suffering an amazing gift for each of us- a gift of eternal healing. He calls this gift HOPE which I define as the sure confidence of salvation. No matter what you suffer through, for those who believe in Jesus' saving work, the gift of HOPE will help get you through. Healing hope helps cancer patients, heavenly HOPE strengthens believers! I hope heavenly hope is all you need! I'm taking my fair share of the other!

Hopeful Regards,
kp

Just a Closer Walk with Thee!

My news yesterday was pretty good as far as cancer news goes. Cancer 'rollercoaster' is a term commonly used to describe the news that cancer patients get. Good news one day, difficult news the next. Sherri and I experienced this to some extent in my last cancer adventure. One day benign, the next day cancer, body scans good, cancer extremely dangerous and on and on it went ending with good news. This time we already had some good news in our pocket, that my old cancer was not back which would have been very difficult news.

So walking into the doctor's office yesterday, Sherri and I really didn't know what to expect. I had just completed two days of tests with machines that now know me more intimately than I care to share with you here. I drank contrast, had dye put in my IV, and even had some radioactive material injected into my veins- all to see what was going on inside me.

Dr. Soori walked in and began reading the test results. Cancer here of this size, cancer there of that size and oh, another cancer over here. EEEESH! Stop already. Then the good news. No throat cancer, no lung cancer, no chest cancer and no cancer in the southern regions. Bottom line, we are fortunate not to be dealing with more difficult news this morning. The cancer I have is still pretty localized to the neck (though starting to head south to the arm pit) but is very treatable and most likely curable. I have to do chemo and surgery and maybe radiation again but this stuff is usually beatable. And that's exactly what I intend to do again. Stupid cancer.

Interestingly, in Sunday School this past Sunday we talked about Old Testament folks who lived 800 or 900 years, guys like Methusela. That sounded pretty cool especially since no one gets that many years anymore. Then we talked about three guys who didn't die- Enoch, Elijah, and Jesus. We learned how Enoch just walked off with God to heaven. That sounded like a pretty good way to get there. The key to walking off to heaven with God is walking with God in the first place don't you think? One commentary put 'walking with God' in these terms, 'while others lived to themselves and the world, Enoch lived to God. It was the joy and support of his life. Communion with God was to him better than life itself.'

We've been exploring that very topic in our Thursday Bible Study 'In the Dust of the Rabbi' which refers to the tradition of disciples walking so closely to their rabbis that they were always in the dust the rabbi's feet stirred up. The overarching point is that we are to be walking that close to our rabbi Jesus today. What a different church we would have if we were all walking 'Enoch close' to Jesus. These thoughts return to mind as I consider my reaction to my cancer news. In some ways my new cancer adventure seems like a call to me from Jesus himself saying, 'Hey, you're lagging behind a bit. Walk a little closer please.'

Maybe my wake up call, my walk closer call can be your snooze alarm. As children of God maybe it's time to grab a leg as young ones sometimes do with parents and hang on for dear life. I know I did this past week. I'm not going to be letting go anytime soon. That's how close my walk is right now. As such, my prayer this week comes from an old hymn: 'Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.'

So this week begins my new cancer adventure. Friday I spend the day in an easy chair having chemo drugs poured into me. Then I get 4 days of drugs in a small backpack I'll carry with me. Then three weeks later we start the process over again. We'll do this routine three or four times. Here's the bottom line, I may lose my hair and some weight but I won't lose my grip. I'm holding on to my God-given faith with both hands as I walk in His dust. Dust and chemo are my keys to success! Let it be, dear Lord let it be so!

Dustily Yours,
kp

A new thing!

I'm going to start publishing my weekly 'Bottom Corner Thoughts' which I write for my church newsletter on this site as well so others can read them if they so choose. I guess this will be an additional archive of sorts.

Lately, most of these are more health updates than anything as I begin another battle with cancer- unrelated to the first five years ago. I'm just a two-time lucky cancer lottery winner.

I write to encourage, to build faith and to inspire others to action. I hope I can do that for you as well.

Blest Regards,
kp

Let's Make a Deal!

'That's great!' my brother told me. I said 'I told you I have cancer and you tell me that's great? Thanks!' Then we shared a quick laugh.We were talking about the news from my biopsy last week where we learned that I have cancer.

Mark had made his comment in reference to the fact that I have a different cancer than my last one. Getting that one back would have made for a difficult meeting with my doctor. The odds of successful treatment would have been very poor.Instead I have a new and different cancer. One which while still very dangerous, is far more treatable and curable. Oddly it is a cancer far more common among smokers. Maybe I'm paying a pretty high price for that golf course cigar I had 10 years ago. Even then, like Bill Clinton, I promise you I did not inhale!

The other piece of good news I got was that the doctor told me it would be a good thing to gain a little weight. When was the last time a doctor told you that? So last night at the company dinner at Gorat's I ordered the large filet to go with the onion rings, bread, spaghetti, baked potato and salad (with blue cheese dressing). I think I almost OD'd on that prescription.

Treatment will consist of tests to make the cancer hasn't spread, chemo, possible radiation (I still glow from my last radiation so they may not be able to do more) and then surgery to remove impacted lymph nodes and tonsils. All this fun begins yet this week with a visit to my oncologist.

On a lighter note, while I waited for this great news, I decided to take Luther's example of making deals with God when in grave danger. Hey, it worked for him and Luther later honored his promise to enter a monastery when saved from a lightning storm. I made some promises as well, none of which involved a monastery which my wife and kids will be happy to learn. But the idea of God playing a Holy, Almighty Monty Hall on Let's Make a Deal didn't seem to fit any Scripture I could remember. To the contrary I later remembered Jesus saying He could have the rocks and stones praise Him if no one else did - so it turned out God didn't need any of my crisis provoked promises. I then thought about how much I don't like rocks and stones.

God did seem to indicate He was pleased with my additional efforts to contact Him during this dangerous time. He also seemed to wonder why I wasn't always this communicative, why I wasn't always so interested in talking and listening to Him. I rubbed my temples like Steve Spurrier in a Husker game and mentioned that He made a good point and promised (yet again) to do better.

On a serious note, a couple of thoughts come to mind from this that I would like to share with you. First, God has a plan for each of us. And the length of that plan here on earth is not our decision- no matter how hard we may pray or the crazy deals we may offer up. We all know many great people who God has given short times to and that clearly speaks to His will, not their faith or promises or actions.

Secondly, life is short no matter what. We really are the Biblical mist and grass that perish so quickly. The cancer of sin results in our death. So live today for Him. Live like you made a deal with God even though He's the One who made the deal, sealed the deal and honored the deal. Talk with Him, listen to Him, praise Him, love Him, and love others- that's your deal! He gives you the faith to take action in these areas. I'll keep you informed of my health status as events merit, but know this, no matter what, no matter if this news may change during my treatment, my eternal prognosis is great. So is yours if you do not toss aside the faith He has given you. Difficult news becomes no less sad in this light, but it does bring comfort and peace and hope. May God grant each of us an extra measure of His love and Holy Spirit this week as we run this short race.

Blest Regards,
kp

Grace All Sufficient

This past week as I refereed a volleyball game between Pius X and St Vincent I looked at my arms and realized if anyone else saw what I saw they would think I am a drug addict thanks to all the needle marks there. I shook my head at the little dark marks and called for another serve. And thus begins a column I had hoped to never write.

Over the past couple weeks I've had numerous needles stuck in me to draw blood or add contrast for MRIs. They're the result of the discovery of another lump in my neck. I've had two of those in the past, both resulting in surgery, both cancerous. Now I have a third bump and yesterday a biopsy was taken so we can learn what I am dealing with this time. Results are due sometime next week.

So, as I write this I don't know much more than what I've just told you- Sherri and I are playing the waiting game. What I do know is this- I have amazing world-class doctors (who people come from all over the country to see) who did a great job removing and treating my most recent cancer episode to get me healthy again. If anyone can heal me, these men can. In addition I have a fantastic team of nurses who Sherri and I have come to know personally to help me get through long chemo treatments.

I also have as most of you know, an amazingly supportive and loving family. In a world where families move thousands of miles apart in distance, love, and care for one another, God has blessed me with one of the closest most loving families He ever created. And as if having one family like this wasn't enough, God blessed me with another just like my own when I married Sherri. So I have two families for which I could never find the words to adequately describe their love and support.

And now let me tell you about someone else I have- God's special gift to me- His wonderful blessing of a Biblical wife, a woman who loves me without condition with the exact kind of amazing love God intended a wife to have- a love I could never hope to match. She will be there with me every step of the way asking hard questions of the doctors, providing support for me whenever I need it and always ready to find those foods which still taste half-way decent to a chemo patient (no small task let me tell you!). All that plus she has an advanced degree in the foreign language of hospital statements and bills!

I think you already know my most important support person (He's yours as well in case you didn't know) - my God, the one and only God, who created the entire universe, is eternally powerful and above all, who knows me, little me by name and loves me more than I could ever understand or even describe in this paragraph (or a thousand books). I know He has a plan for me and my family, a plan for my good and so as I begin a new health adventure, I do so in His love and care, I do so with a joy and confidence in believing.

So, I begin a new journey this week- hopefully a short health adventure with a quick return to health and an 'all clear' prognosis. But no matter the result of this biopsy and the path He has chosen for me, I'll keep you informed through this blog and covet and be thankful for your prayers. For you should know I appreciate and love each one of you as well- you are another gift from God for me. I leave you with some words of comfort from a favorite hymn 'How Firm a Foundation' (and Isaiah 41:0) that bring a smile to my face even as I write to you from these uncertain times:
Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no, never, no, never forsake!

To these words I say Amen and Amen!
Blest Regards,
kp

Makers of a Legend

This past Saturday was Nebraska's 300th consecutive sellout. I planned on taking Mate' to this special game for his first Husker experience. I was looking forward to our trip and seeing my first game this year in person. Then a couple weeks ago I realized Caleb had scheduled his first gig- his band's very first show- on this very same evening. And to seal the deal, Mate' was playing drums for this new group called 'Makers of a Legend'.

So as I loaded drums and amps into our van for the trip to Sokol Underground I couldn't help but be a little disappointed that I was missing a fun game on a perfect evening. Twenty minutes later we arrived at Sokol Underground which sits below Sokol Hall on 13th and Martha. The place looked a little rough, a bit like the surrounding neighborhood. At 5:30 we hauled in all the band's equipment and waited for the 6:30 PM show to begin. A number of bands and singers were scheduled to perform and 'Makers of a Legend' were to go on at 7:50 PM.

I snuck out to find a place to watch a few minutes of the Husker game prior to Cale going on-stage.Luckily the bar next door had the pay-per-view game on so I could watch. I saw almost all of the first half which left me confident of a Husker win and wanting to watch more- but I had to get back to the show.

When I arrived, Caleb and the guys were doing sound checks and getting ready to play. When the house lights went down, the stage lights shown bright, almost 100 kids pressed towards the stage and 'Makers of a Legend' were ready to rock. It was to be an evening I will never forget.

It's hard to describe how you feel when you see your child doing something they love and do it well. I've had the pleasure of seeing this with each of my boys- Tim with football, Jake with basketball, Dan with golf, and now Cale with guitar. On this night Cale played lead guitar and played so well including a couple solos. The band played every song they knew, all four of them! The crowd cheered after every song, shouting for an encore at the end. The band soaked up the praise and Sherri and I beamed with pride.

As I thought about the evening I thought of the difference between a Husker game and a 'Makers of a Legend' concert. That Husker games make me happy when they win- and irritated (read Virginia Tech) when they lose. I decided that this kind happiness depends on what happens, on 'happeness'.

But what I felt at the concert was more 'joy'- something that touched the deepest part of me. I think there is a big difference between joy and 'happeness'. My joy on this evening wasn't based on what happened, it was based on loving my child first and then seeing him doing something he loves. The band did their best; they are learning to do better. The evening wasn't about how good or bad they were, it was about young men learning to step out in front of a crowd and do what they love.

In the Bible 'joy' is used to describe something greater than happiness. Words like exceedingly glad, exultant gladness are used to describe joy. I think it's nice to have a little earthly happiness (Husker wins) and joy (children doing well) to go with our God-given joy which Jesus himself told us about in John 15 'that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete'. In short we are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy as the result of our faith and salvation (1Peter 1:8-9). Faith makes joy a verb, not just something we have but something we do - a way of living, a 'live-style' if you will. My own life verses 1Thessolonians 5:16-18 describes joy like this as well calling us to 'Be joyful always'. Our joy is to be unaffected by 'happeness' because we have an eternal gift thanks to what Jesus did for us on the cross.

I guess you could say that it turns out that this life is to be a joy-ride, a time before eternity where we live a life of joy thanks to our God who loves us beyond our understanding. That's what our God-given faith reminds us of- the joyful hope we have in Jesus. And while we live this joyful life, it's great to share some earthly joy and even 'happeness' as we love those around us and watch them rock on! See you fellow joyful folks this Sunday at Club Atonement!

Joyfully Yours!
kp

Music That Moves You

Sherri and I took Mate' to the Nebraska State Fair a couple weeks ago so he could experience a unique piece of Americana. We chose a Wednesday evening because it fit our schedule best and because the Christian rock group 'Newsboys' was going to be performing. And so off we went to the State Fair!

If you got to the Fair before 5 PM the cost was only $5. After 5 PM the cost is $8 because the average working guy should pay more I guess. We left a little before 4 PM and barely got to the gate in time to get the reduced admission saving us $9 dollars- with which we intended to buy food on a stick. Instead I got a gyro and Sherri and Mate' had Nebraska beef sandwiches so even though we considered trying fried twinkies or pizza on a stick for a true Fair experience we just couldn't do it.

The concert was free with paid admission to the Fair and so we took part of the couple hours we had before the show to look through the only animal barn open which had some calves, enjoy the 4-H photo competition and judge an artwork competition for ourselves before making our way to the show. The open air auditorium was packed an hour early and we were lucky to find three good seats about halfway back in the middle.

Omaha's Christian radio station 100.7 KGBI sponsored the concert so after securing our seats I skipped out to meet these radio folks who had over the years helped us promote our concerts at Atonement. Sherri has kept in pretty close contact with September Turner who is on the morning show and so when I saw her she gave me and Mate' a warm greeting and then pulled out three backstage passes for us to meet the band. We had our seats saved by our neighbors and went off to meet the band! We got the chance to say hello, share a couple laughs and have our picture taken with them which was fun.

When the show began it became clear that this was going to be a very very loud evening. Even halfway back the music was moving my shirt and more importantly vibrating against my chest. In a literal sense, this booming music was moving me! The show was fantastic, powerful music was combined with powerful lyrics which proclaimed the Gospel message and I let the sound of their intense praise wash over me. I wondered if the praise in heaven is this powerful, moving, meaningful and loud! Even more so I concluded.

What kind of music is this that moves me to praise God and just soak up the sound and meaning? Here are some of the lyrics to 'He Reigns' – that makes me want to sing out every time I hear it:
'Let it rise about the four winds Caught up in the heavenly sound Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals To the faithful gathered underground Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation Some were meant to persist Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples None rings truer than this And all the powers of darkness Tremble at what they've just heard

Cause all the powers of darkness Can't drown out a single word When all God's children sing out Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns All God's people singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns'

There's something about hearing 'Glory, glory hallelujah, He reigns, He reigns' played so loud that it reverberates and moves your chest and your soul. I wished it was even louder, that the whole world would hear and be moved by this music, by these words of life. But I realize that I'm the one that is called to be playing this moving music louder through my daily life. Could we even imagine how moving it would be for all God's people to sing 'Glory, glory, hallelujah' through their daily lives?

When we live loud through our faith people around us can feel it. As the Newsboys sang in another song, I need to 'Shine, make 'em wonder what you've got, make 'em wish that they were not, on the outside looking in'. I pray that we will do just that - that the music of our lives will be shining and moving examples of faith played at full volume that the Holy Spirit uses to win souls! May God help us to be the 'movers and shiners' that this world so badly needs.

Loudly Yours,
kp

Bad-itudes and Gladitudes!

It was his problem really, his bad attitude that caused us to not get along. This past Friday I almost got in a fight- yes me, almost getting in a fight. Can you believe it? We were just inches apart when he threw up his arms and acted like he was going to hit me. I didn't flinch, I stood my ground, I didn't back down even an inch- even though he was bigger than me!

Finally he simmered down and walked away. Then Sherri and I shared a good laugh about how funny gorillas are. On our trip to the zoo we spent time watching them and one in particular didn't like me looking at him I guess. He came at me a couple times, first rising up, pounding his chest and then slapping the glass in front of me. We decided he must not have liked me staring him in the eyes as he sat close by or he didn't like my salmon colored shirt. Either way, he was ready to mix it up with me. He had a 'bad-itude'.

This goofy story came to mind again yesterday as I was doing some Bible study. I was listening to a teacher talk about the Israelites and their bad attitudes and murmuring and complaining. James McDonald commented that he thinks the most radical thing God did in the Old Testament was send his people back to the desert to die. And why did He do this? Because of their 'stinking thinking', their complaining and grumbling- because of their murmuring and bad attitudes (with some disobedience thrown in for good measure).

What hit home for me in this message was Pastor McDonald's reference to 1Cor 10:6-10 where Paul explains this particular historical event and punishment was recorded as 'a warning to us'. Think the Old Testament doesn't have meaning today? Think it's a long and dry Jewish history tale? Think again. God tells us through Paul that parts of it were written as a warning- in this case a warning given to us to stop the grumbling and complaining and bad attitudes. God says to you and me today, enough with that bad attitude! Knock it off!

And I can ashamedly tell you that I am Cinderella, that the shoe of a bad attitude fits me more times than I care to admit here. Maybe you've had a gorilla of an attitude here and there, every now and then as well? Maybe? As I thought about this I came up with my own lesson- that the Israelites' bad attitude prevented them from following God into the Promised land and that same bad-itude can keep us from obeying Jesus' command to 'follow me' today. In short, it's impossible to follow when we stop to complain.

The Good News is, the Bible says its okay to have an attitude. We are taught to have a humble, servant, Christ-like attitude in Phil 2:5 and a thankful attitude in Col 2:4. Other verses implore us to have an attitude of faithfulness, determination, encouragement and gentleness. Just for good measure, the Bible also clearly speaks against having an arrogant, foolish and hostile attitude. Maybe these are all a part of a bad complaining attitude.

There's an old positive thinking statement that says, 'your attitude determines your altitude'. When it comes to that final day, no truer statement could be made. Our attitude of complete trust and reliance on Christ and His atoning work on the cross will propel us to incomprehensible altitudes for an eternity. WOW! How cool is that? Cool enough to give each of us a 'glad-itude' for every single day of this short life? I think so. See you positive people Sunday at Gladtonement.

Blest Happy Regards,
kp

Inglorious

This week the story of a found girl missing for 18 years is all over the news. And the deranged mind of her sex offender captor has me thinking that we need to extract a measure of revenge greater than just jail time. All sorts of painful punishments run through my mind of which I will kindly spare you the details on. It just seems just to do more than put the guy behind bars.

My indignation and desire for revenge reminded me of the Wall Street Journal editorial I read on my flight to Austin last week. The article caught my interest as it pondered the 'problem of revenge'. The author Jordana Horn was considering this topic in light of the box office hit 'Inglorious Basterds' which is a fictional account of a small platoon of American Jews during WWII who are successful in their mission to extract a measure of revenge on the Germans through acts of atrocities (scalping just for starters). They gain such a horrible reputation that even Hitler learns about them. After the premiere of the movie at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York a number of holocaust survivors and their children expressed satisfaction with the movie and had no problem with the theme of revenge.

In fact when the movie ended- with a scene of a movie theatre full of German leaders burning – the crowd applauded. One person said the film made her 'unfortunately happy' and a rabbi called the film "wickedly entertaining". He commented further that the Bible sanctioned retribution against the people of Amalek. Other Jewish leaders noted that revenge is specifically prohibited in Leviticus 19:18 and that the Old Testament 'an eye for an eye' verse really relates to financial matters. I decided I would go see the movie for myself and see what I might conclude.

I found the film interesting and it kept my attention for over two hours. And it did pose a good question for me. Should you root for the American Jewish soldiers to be successful in their audacious revenge? Is using a baseball bat on an opposing soldier ever okay when you have captured him? When the film opens and you see the brutality of the Germans towards Jewish people is it okay to respond in kind? I started this column by telling you I wish it were so sometimes even today but would I like it in reality? I don't think so.

Romans 12:17 says "Repay no one evil for evil" and verse 19 adds "do not avenge yourselves". I'd say the Bible is pretty clear on this topic. Then this morning surfing channels before work I heard someone read Psalm 37 which opens with these words, "Do not fret because of evil doers" and verse three adds "Trust in the Lord and do good: dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness". And I determined God's response is twice as good as ours. We should not do 2 others, rather what is important is what we do 4 others.

Still I think our natural reaction as sinful folks is not to 'bless those who persecute us' but to get even. Our first reaction is not to overcome evil with good or turn the other cheek as the Bible instructs. With the heinous sex offender or the guy who just cut us off in traffic- both cause us to first consider extracting a measure of revenge. In a real way, intentional or not, the 'Inglorious' part of the title of the movie fits the theme of revenge and our first reaction doesn't it? Inglorious means dishonorable, shameful or disgraceful.

Jesus told us to love our enemy. More than that, that was His example. Spit upon, He did not spit back or call upon a legion of angels. Why? Because one day there will be a final judgement. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord- and as one commentary noted, 'The fact that vengeance will truly be taken is a truth to be held in humility and awe'. This thought makes me thankful that the righteousness of Jesus covers my plentiful inglorious sins. On that final day standing in His righteousness we will be glorious- brilliantly beautiful, magnificently splendid. See you future splendid and non-vengeful people Sunday to feed on His faithfulness – or else! Blest Regards,kp

Dream On!

This past week our foreign exchange student from Hungary Mate' and I were talking about music. And we shared a few favorite songs while looking them up on YouTube and watching and listening. We had fun hearing new songs. Then Mate' asked me what my favorite song of all time is- and that kind of stumped me a bit.

And maybe that is because I have such wide-ranging tastes in music. I grew up on country and church hymns. As I went through high school I enjoyed rock more and more. Later on I listened to a little jazz and spent some Friday nights at blues concerts. These days I mostly listen to Christian music. If you were to shuffle the songs on my ipod, you could hear a song from 'The Sound of Music' followed by an Alan Parson's song, then an Ann Murray song and then listen to the hard rock of AC/DC. It's very strange really even for me.

So I had trouble answering Mate's question. I maybe could give you a favorite in each category (even that would not be easy) but not an overall favorite. I finally answered with 'Dream On' by Aerosmith instead of avoiding the question. When you think about the music and songs you enjoy, I'll bet it's not easy for you to answer this question either. We have songs we enjoy for different reasons. Some we like the beat or beautiful background music. Some we like because of the singer or the lyrics and others the loudness or smoothness. Some have special meaning because of the memories we have attached to them. So you know from experience what I am talking about.

Later I began to wonder what my favorite hymn is. I know I have too many to pick just one but 'How Firm a Foundation', 'Jesus Thy Blood and Righteousness', 'Holy Holy Holy' and 'Just as I Am' are good ones to start with. And I love Easter hymns like crazy as well. Favorite Christian song? Start with Chris Tomlin's 'Amazing Grace' and then Natalie Grant's 'I am Not Alone' or 'Held'. Add Mark Schultz's 'He's My Son' to that list which any parent could easily relate to. See, I can't even pick one when I'm trying to make a point.

But maybe that is my point. I was thinking that maybe God is like that with us. That He loves each of us so very much that He could never pick a favorite. And I know He loves each of us out of pure grace, for nothing we do- but maybe He loves you as well because He gifted you with the gift of encouragement and He enjoys watching you use your gift. And maybe God smiles when He thinks about the memories attached to you, like your baptism, your confirmation, and the times you were really taking time to pray and talk with Him. Maybe He made us all so different just so He could never have a favorite!

I think there is a good chance that when God spoke creation into existence, He did so with a song. And so maybe as an extension of this thought our lives are songs as well. Michael Card has a neat song 'Poem of Your Life' that hints at this. Here are a few of his lyrics: 'Life is a song we must sing with our days- A poem with meaning more than words can say- A painting with colors no rainbow can tell- A lyric that rhymes either heaven or hell.' And later he adds, 'We're the notes of the song of the chorus of faith'. When Psalms tells us to 'sing a new song to the Lord' maybe it means to live a new Spirit-powered life. Anyway, I just thought it was a cool way to think about our lives- as a song.

John reveals in Revelation that there is a continual chorus of praise music going on in heaven. Everyday songs of faithful lives are added to that chorus. When the final voice is added one day, what a feast for our ears that will be. Picking out a favorite song will no longer be a difficult choice! Until then we can only 'Dream On' about how awesome that will be. See all you new songs at chorus practice this Sunday.

Blest Regards,
Keith

Giants and Grasshoppers

I think maybe Janica and I were the only ones who heard it and got a good laugh out of it. A couple girls were reading Romans 1:16 to the kids in VBS. Here is how the verse is supposed to read: I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.'

What we heard was 'I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the giants. The giants? Really? I didn't know they were a particular target of God's redeeming work.

The whole thought of saving giants made me think back upon a sermon I will never forget. A group of men from our church had traveled to a Colorado PromiseKeepers event. And on the first evening Pastor EV Hill, a black preacher with a real distinctive preaching style who led one of the largest churches in Los Angeles spoke. His sermon was on giants and grasshoppers (or graaaass-hoppers in EV Hill's unique pronunciation).

Maybe you can guess this sermon recounted how the Israelite spies returned to report that the promised land was filled with milk and honey but more importantly giants. Giants so big they made the Israelites look like grasshoppers. They suggested God's plan to return the Jews to their homeland was not a good one. Caleb and Joshua were over-ruled as they tried to convince the people to trust God for the victory.

So as I thought about it later I guessed I could make an argument for our young girls translation. That Jesus died not just for the good folks, not just for the Jews, but for our enemies, for the giants in our lives. Giants are Gentiles and need saving too!

More importantly, the point of the verse we were reading was that we are not to be ashamed of the Gospel. Maybe for us a better translation would be to not 'be afraid' to share the Gospel. Like Israelites we look past the milk and honey of sharing the Gospel and focus on giants, like what other people will think. Even though sharing has great power- the power to save- somehow returning to the dessert seems better than confronting giants.

Maybe the girls had a funny AND meaningful translation. Maybe we could consider their words to be a call to be like Caleb and Joshua. A call to overcome the giant of fear and share the Gospel with everyone including our giants. See you grasshoppers at church this Sunday!

Blest Regards,
Keith

Busy!

It wasn't intended to be this way. It just happened. A confluence of events have come together to make for the busiest days I can ever remember at our house. Let me explain.

Months ago I agreed to help run VBS. August seemed so far away you know so no big deal. VBS is now here. And months ago Sherri and I agreed to host a foreign exchange student who arrives this week. The kids were still in school at the time and the next school year seemed very far away. We bought an old house for Jake in Maryville back in the spring that needed some work down the road. Down the road now means 'right now'. Dan decided on UNO for college months ago and now we need to get him ready to move out. The decision to redo Caleb's room to get ready for high school came early since the train motif had grown old- or should I say too young?

So what does all this mean? A perfect storm of crazyness for both Sherri and me. We spent hours and hours creating sets for VBS- laughing at our poor artists skills. When we got home we would tear apart Caleb's room- dismantling the bunk beds and taking out all the furniture and clothes and well, just the myriad of clutter that teenage boys pour into their rooms. We cleared Dan out of his room to make way for Mate (our exchange student) which resulted in another giant pile of stuff somewhere else. Thankfully Grandpa John has been helping fix up the Maryville house. All this as I make plans for a full week of travel for business next week. EEESCH!

When 'busy' is used in the Bible it's not usually a good thing. Like Martha is busy in the kitchen when Jesus is teaching. He tells her one thing is important and 'busy' isn't it. Ecclesiastes talks about busy people chasing after the wind- a clear indication that 'busy' is not really a productive activity. Jesus said in Luke 21, 'Don't be too busy with worldly things…the end might come when you are not ready'. No wonder then that 'busybody' isn't a term of affection.

The German origin of 'busy' means 'occupied'. God certainly gave us a planet full of shiny objects to occupy our time and attention. Yet He was pretty clear about what is to be our top 'occupation'. The Contemporary English Version of the Bible uses the word 'busy' in a favorite verse 1 Cor 15:58 where it says, 'Always keep busy working for the Lord'. Are we 'occupied' with, busy with, things of the Lord?

Sometimes it seems like 'busy' just surrounds us. Like Sherri and I, we can get into busy times without even trying. The same thing happened to Jesus. Take a look at Luke 5: 15 and 16 to see Jesus' response. 'News about Jesus kept spreading. Large crowds came to listen to him teach and to be healed of their diseases. But Jesus would often go to some place where he could be alone and pray'. I was going to use that as my excuse to get out of mattress frame construction last night but I knew Sherri wouldn't go for it.

All kidding aside- don't send God a busy signal when He is working in your life and heart. When you get busy, look for ways to occupy your time in prayer, praise and study away from the crowds and rush of life. That's not me speaking, it's Jesus' example. As the old hymn (Come Follow Me the Savior Spake) says, 'Take My example as your guide'! Gotta run, so much to do…have a great week occupied with Jesus!

Blest Regards,
kp

Rock Flower

I saw it on my way down the mountain and I even got a picture of it! As we descended from 14,000 feet off Pike's Peak through the rough terrain, I noticed a bright flower growing all by itself on a small rocky ledge. And it just struck me how cool it was to see such a delicate plant in such a harsh environment.

More than that I marveled at the perseverance, the steadfastness of this flower, not just to grow but to bloom where it was planted. I've seen such tenacity before and I'm sure you have too. Like the grass and weeds that are growing in my driveway cracks even as the grass in my watered lawn struggles to stay green. How does that happen?

As I examined my picture later, I noticed only the smallest amount of rock dirt (my poor attempt at geological description) around its base on this ledge. Other than that it looked like it was growing right out of the rock, but what a great little flower this plant had produced. Sort of a bluish purple – again, very cool.

As I applauded God's creation in my picture, I thought about how we all could use a dose of this flower's tenacity, determination, endurance and strength. Sometimes blooming where you are planted is not an easy thing. Sometimes we wonder why we're planted in what seems to be a very difficult place. And we could apply this analogy to our work life or family life but I'm thinking about our faith life. My own in particular.

I've mentioned before one of my favorite verses is 1 Cor 15:58 which calls us to be steadfast and immovable. I guess you could say we are called to be flowers on rocks, to take our place and bloom where we are no matter how difficult that might seem. No matter how few might see. Why? Because as this verse later adds, nothing we do for the Lord is done in vain.

The Bible provides many calls to be strong and endure. 2 Timothy tells us to be 'strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus' and adds that if we endure we shall also reign with Him. James says 'we count them blessed who endure'. There are plenty more if you take a moment to look. So, be strong and determined, endure in your faith walk, be steadfast and immovable. Determined means resolute and staunch. Endure means sustain or suffer without yielding.

Based on the encouragement of a small flower we are all reminded to be resolute and staunch in our faith. To be unyielding to any circumstance pushing us to give up. We have a hope, a sure confidence that the faith God provides will be sufficient to help us bloom where we are planted- no matter how hard it may seem. We are indeed flowers drawing strength from THE Rock and that is all the soil we need for an eternity of blooming!

Blest Regards,
Keith

Family Vacation

This week I write to you thanks to a slow internet connection from Colorado Springs on our family vacation. We've rented a house for the week in the historic Broadmoor area as a home base for the entire Petersen clan. We've hiked mountain trails, climbed to see waterfalls, and gone to royal gorges just for starters.

While we've done a lot of fun things like white-water rafting, my favorite part of the trip so far was our visit to the Air Force Academy where we attended church. And maybe you know what this chapel, this church looks like because it's one of the most famous and architectually stunning places of worship in the country.

If you haven't seen or heard about this church, it resembles a giant A-frame building with numerous points across the top. It is so big it can be seen from miles away. Once inside your eyes are automatically drawn upwards. The side windows provide a view of the nearby mountains. The giant silver cross hanging near the front boldly declares this as a place of worship.

Over the years on our family vacations we've attended services at a number of iconic churches. We've been to the Crystal Cathedral in Los Angeles, Southwest in Nashville ( one of the ten largest churches in America), oh and maybe my favorite, a small Missouri Synod Lutheran church in the heart of Atlanta led by Pastor Pete. Going to church is an important part of our family vacations.

Sunday, I wondered as I sat in worship, if Jesus were to return to earth to attend church, if He might pick a place like the Academy Chapel. Surely He would I guessed. Then I considered that church really is never a building, it's the people. Where Jesus would attend church certainly wouldn't be determined by the beauty of the building I decided. Better yet, I know that He does attend every service where two or more gather in His name. So I decided to strike that question.

Thinking about it now, I realize that I worshipped Him this week in another even more awesome cathedral than the Cadet Chapel as I spent time in the Rockies. This week I and my family have explored the proof of Romans 1- that God's great creation speaks to His presence. His creation is His cathedral and I have been blessed to get to view its awesome majesty.

Hey, I think a nice church building is a wonderful thing. By the power of the Holy Spirit it can inspire those who pass by to think about God. I even wish we were still building great cathedrals in His honor but that doesn't happen much anymore. The good news is we don't need cathedrals to worship our loving God. We can step into the great cathedral of His creation, our world, and give Him thanks anytime. And we can step into a small church in Keystone on this Sunday- another awesome place where He promises to be. See you fellow cadets there!

Blest Regards,
Keith

A Different View

Sherri wrote a very nice article about her father for our upcoming paper newsletter but I wanted to share it with all of you here as well- mostly because I am very proud of my talented writer wife! kp

When mom died, Keith wrote a beautiful story about the week we spent on the cancer floor of Immanuel Hospital. The large window of the family waiting room looked out on the parking lot, surrounded by fields of trees and grass gently covered with snow. He told of the 2000 piece puzzle which we mindlessly worked in an effort to think past the painful reason we gathered. He shared the significance of the single puzzle piece missing at the end of the week when the puzzle lay completed on the table as we grieved the loss of my mom. This past week, I feared that another story would be written about the untimely death of someone I love, my father.

Dad has always been a "health nut". He works out at the YMCA on the treadmill and exercise bikes and lifts weights. His diet usually consists of food considered to be healthy and he certainly keeps the vitamin industry afloat with his lengthy list of supplements. He subscribes to four healthy-living magazines and follows closely the latest trends and medical breakthroughs.

The last two years have been rough on Dad. First he lost Mom. Then his grandson, Christopher. In addition to his mental anguish, his very tall frame (6'7") began to experience some problems. The bones in his neck broke down and resulted in terrible headaches. The discs in his back caused great pain in his legs. He was unable to do many of the things that he enjoyed previously: attending ball games, driving the car and playing golf. He eventually discovered the source of the problems and waited impatiently for the surgeries to cure what ailed him. First Dad had cataract surgery which went very well and gave him 20/20 vision for the first time in 70 years. The neck surgery in May was successful, also, eliminating the headaches. He eagerly awaited the back surgery. The night before, he planned to throw the first pitch at our family softball game, because he felt he could. Dad wasn't sure how quickly he would heal and did not want the season to end without his participation in at least one game, lest he ruin his long-standing record. Unfortunately, we were rained out and he will have to wait until the end of the season to float one home.

The surgery went better than expected and within days he was walking, without pain and without a cane. A few days later, his recovery took an abrupt turn for the worse when he was rushed by ambulance into the hospital, barely able to breathe. After many tests and scary moments, the doctor discovered a large "saddle" pulmonary embolism, bigger than most he had ever seen. The doctor delivered grave news: Dad was very ill; they could not sugar-coat it: the next 2-3 days would be critical.

We discovered many things about embolisms during the hours and days to follow. 50% of all those with pulmonary embolisms die. A vast majority of those with saddle embolisms never make it to the hospital. We credit fast response by family, emergency personnel and doctors and of course, answered prayers, for the miracle that put Dad in ICU instead of the morgue.

The waiting room for ICU was a nice large room, big enough for my 40+ family members, plus the families and friends of other patients. This time, the scenery was not as pleasant as the window looked out onto the roof of another section of the hospital. Boxes of puzzles sat on a table in the corner, untouched. I do not consider myself to be superstitious, yet I was uncomfortable even looking at them that first day. Eventually the fear of repeating the events of Mom's hospital stay lessened and a Star Wars battle scene began to form, piece by piece. Everyone who came to visit took turns searching for the piece which would fit into their designated section. By Sunday night, the puzzle was completed, with the exception of one single piece. The facial expressions of all those present confirmed that we were all thinking the same thought: Coincidence or not, the missing piece had to be found! The entire group began to scan the floor. We all prayed that the piece was hidden under the table leg, or a chair. None of us wanted that puzzle to become a representation of another loss, another missing piece of our family puzzle.

When someone shouted "There it is!" Caleb lunged forward, almost knocking heads with the "finder", and quickly locked it into place and we all shared a collective sigh of relief. Later, as Dad recalled Mom's hospital stay and his great loss just a few floors away, we shared the puzzle story. We wanted to assure him that even though he was in the same hospital; even though his family was gathered together praying for him; even though friends and relatives filtered in and out; even though the doctors could not offer any guarantees, this time was different.

And indeed, this time the miracle we prayed for did happen. This time our news was favorable. This time the end result was the blessed opportunity to spend more time here on earth with my Dad. This time, our puzzle remained intact. This time, the view from the 4th floor thankfully is completely different as we view it through the God-given lens of a healing miracle. This time we return to the ground floor of life with my father healed and my faith strengthened!

God Has Helped!

Our family is working puzzles again. And that's never a good thing because we only work puzzles as we nervously wait in hospitals. This past week we worked three big puzzles which means we've been at Immanuel nonstop for some time now. The good news is our puzzle-working days are numbered (just a few more) as Sherri's dad Howard is on the road to recovery.

This past week we've also learned new terms like embolus and thrombus. To be exact we have learned that a saddle embolism is a blockage which has moved to straddle both lungs and deep vein thrombosis is a dangerous blood clot which could become a deadly embolism (a clot on the move!). And we've learned that when you have a large saddle embolism restricting blood flow and a deep vein thrombosis you shouldn't buy green bananas if you know what I mean.

Most importantly we learned that we have experienced a miracle healing. I'd say it is a healing of Lazurus proportions. The doctors tell us they don't see many embolisms like Sherri's dad has, that really these would be much more common for a coroner to see. In fact, some have said this is the largest embolism they have ever seen survived. Doctors and nurses gather to see something they have never seen before so large on the scans and x-rays. So again I say this is a healing miracle of Lazarus proportions.

Howard does something kind of funny with each of his grandkids. He often calls them by their first name and adds his name as their middle name. A couple of the grandkids Caleb and Alex already have Howard as a middle name. For the girls it's kinda funny to hear Howard as their middle name. His great-grandchild Kenadae gets it and I'm sure new little Mia will as well. Based on this healing I'm changing Howard's middle name to Lazarus- Howard Lazarus sorta has a ring to it.

I'm sure you know the story of Lazarus. How Lazarus had died and how Jesus brought him back to life. But as Paul Harvey would say, do you know 'the rest of the story'? This amazing historical event is recorded so beautifully and is absolutely chocked full of life lessons for us. There is so much to the rest of this story that I would ask you to closely read it again (John 11). Here is a bit of the rest of the story for me, especially in light of our own miracle.

Jesus delivers some of His most powerful words for us in performing this miracle. He tells His disciples they are going to Bethany and Lazarus and that what will happen there will build their (and our) faith. Jesus also uses this occasion to provide great comfort to all those who have suffered loss saying, 'I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth on me, though he die, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth on me shall never die.' Martha says she believes these words and adds a wonderful profession of faith. Then Jesus with a brief tear, gives us a resurrection preview of sorts, bringing Lazarus back to life. 'Lazarus' means 'God has helped' and the name certainly fits this man from Bethany and a man in Omaha some 2000 years later.

I bet Lazarus felt better than ever after his resurrection. I bet his knee didn't hurt anymore and his eyesight was perfect again. When Jesus heals, body parts listen. Some time later Jesus returns for a dinner with Lazarus and Martha and Mary. And John writes that folks come from all over to see Jesus AND Lazarus as they recline at the table. They loved seeing their old friend alive and hearing about his miracle healing. My guess is they treasured any time they could spend with him from then on. We know that exact, that very feeling now from our own personal experience.

We don't hear from or about Lazarus again. What we do know is that his earthly life did finally come to an end and that Jesus used Lazarus' healing to build faith- and to show the glory of God. I pray the same thing happens today, that all who know and love Howard Lazarus will come and visit and be strengthened in their faith because 'God has helped' him. God promises one day we will all get a resurrection experience. Until then, we give thanks for awesome miracle healings (including that of Howard Lazarus), for the gift of faith and for the blessing of God's help. I pray you experience each of these in your life.

Blest Regards,
Keith

My Friend Brad

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Actually I always look forward to weekends but the last weekend in June is my favorite. Why? Because the Brad Beckman Memorial Golf Scramble always happens then. This event supports a scholarship in Brad's name at UNO. And part of the reason I look forward to this is because I like to golf and spend time with my son Dan and my dad and Clyde Durham. But more importantly I like this event, this day, because it celebrates the life of a good friend, and a good family I will never forget.

Many of you may not know Brad. He and his family were members of Atonement and always will be, at least in my mind. I grew up with his older brother Rod and in fact spent a lot of time after school at Irvington at the Beckman's. Brad was 5 years younger and Brian 10 years younger. At the Beckman's house the neighborhood would gather for basketball in the driveway or football in the back yard. Later, we all played at different times on the church softball team including mom, Millie. As our dusty trophies prove, all the Beckman's were good softball players.

And though the Beckman boys were athletic, Brad was especially blessed with both talent and physical prowess. He played just about every sport but was best at basketball (a star at NW High and more importantly on our church team) and football. He played football at UNO and was drafted in the 7th round of the 1988 draft by the Minnesota Vikings. He ended up playing for the New York Giants and later for the Atlanta Falcons. On December 19, 1989 at age 24, Brad was killed in an Atlanta area car crash and we were all shocked and saddened.

To this day, I count it as one of my greatest honors in life to have served as a pall bearer for Brad on a cold snow-clad day. Over these past twenty years I have thought about Brad a number of times. Sometimes I think about how much fun we had playing sports and poker together, how fun it was to watch him play at UNO, or I think about a funny story that involved Brad, my dad and Pastor Pete and a lot of laughs. That's the way I remember Brad- as a young man who enjoyed life. And so I look forward to the last Saturday in June to see the Beckman family again and to remember and honor my friend with a round of poor golf.

God graces our life with friends that we will never forget doesn't He? Think about your best friend for example and what a blessing that person is or was to you. Friend means 'favored companion, one attached to another by affection or esteem'. Actually the word derives from the Old English word 'freon' which means 'to love'. Very 'cool' and that makes sense, friends are folks we love. Sometimes time and distance may reduce the contact, but never the heart and love we have for them. You know what I am saying.

Jesus knew all about friends. In John 15 He gives us the world's best lesson on friendship. Talking with His disciples Jesus tells them and us, 'I have called you friends'. He calls each of us friend, people He loves! He said He lays down his life for His friends. Can we comprehend the depths of this or the meaning of the old hymn title 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'? God tells us in Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love--a love that will last forever". Amazing- God delivered the first most meaningful BFF (best friends forever) text message more than 2000 years ago. The power of these words reminds me of the song from Aladdin where Robin Williams sings, 'You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, You ain't never had a friend like me, You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!'

Someone said, 'True friendship is like a star, You don't see it's light in the brightness of prosperity But in the darkness of adversity'. On that first Christmas morning a star shown bright in the sky to point out our Star, our Superstar true Friend- Jesus, the One who shines bright and is with us always, even in the darkness of adversity- and with us in the loss of earthly friends as well. So this weekend I'll pay tribute to an old friend on the golf course and an eternal Friend at church. A weekend of celebrating friendships, surrounded by 'favored companions' is certainly something to look forward to - with an occasional birdie throw in for good measure- I hope!

Blest Regards from your Friend,
kp

Death by Basketball- A Story of Encouragement

Maybe I was wrong in my conclusion. As I looked over my freshly planted marigolds, I noticed one poor plant had been broken and the stem with flower attached, now lay on its side, starting to wither. I concluded right away that it was another case of death by basketball- a serial flower killer has been on the loose at our house for years with his round-ball weapon of choice and now another innocent victim lay dying in the sun.

Slightly irritated I broke off the flowered stem and jammed it into the ground next to another plant. I then pulled out the rest of the plant and replanted another marigold. I watered down the bed and called it good. A couple days later I noticed the stem I had stuck in the ground wasn't giving up. Its flower still shown bright and a few new sprouts had sprung. I hadn't expected this and rewarded my colorful friend with another good dousing of water. Today stick flower continues to boldly hold its one lone bloom in spite of its fear of basketballs (just my guess- that is if flowers have the ability to fear anything in addition to rabbits).

I began to think of my stick flower as a lesson in encouragement and determination. Which then reminded me of this past Thursday's 'Portals of Prayer' devotion on encouragement- one of my favorite topics. As we all know (not), June 11 was St. Barnabas Feast Day and St. B was noted as being an encourager. Acts 11:23 is evidence of this as it tells us 'he exhorted them all to remain faithful to the Lord.' So what can we learn about encouragement from Barnabas?

It turns out the very name 'Barnabas' means encourager, exhorter, consoler. We learn in Acts 4:36 that the disciples gave Barnabas this new name. How great to be recognized as such an encourager that your name gets changed! I can just hear the conversation:

Peter: 'Hey Joe, the boys and I have decided to change your name.'
Joe: 'Really. Why's that?'
Peter: 'Oh, just a little something Jesus started. He changed mine from Simon to Pete, and Saul's to Paul.'
Joe: 'Let me hear it first, I don't want some goofy name like Keith or Obama.'
Peter: 'Heavens no, we've decided on Barney. No, let's be a little more formal, you are now Barnabas- you know, the encourager.'
Barnabas: 'That's cool, I like that name. Thanks Rocky- by the way, great sermon you delivered on Pentecost, keep up the good work.'
Peter: 'Hey Doc, jot this down will you for that Acts book you're writing. We just changed Joe's name to Barnabas.'

Some think Barnabas was converted on Pentecost, others think Barnabas was one of Jesus' 70 disciples and his encouragement, what some call his edification, exhortation and consolation skills caused him to rise to the top. Acts 4 tells us he sold some land and laid the proceeds at the disciples' feet. Maybe that's the first part of being an encourager- buying in. Believing in something, in this case Someone, so much that you redeem your time and things to tell others all about it. To encourage others, we (by the power of the Holy Spirit) need to do just that, 'buy in', 'focus in' and 'get strong in' our faith.

Barnabas also encouraged the disciples to accept the 'new' Paul and later is an encouragement to John Mark after he fails in a missionary trip. From this we learn that encouragers help those new in the faith and lift up those who have fallen or made a mistake. I wish we were all better at being this kind of an encourager. Saint Luke goes on later to describe Barnabas as a good man full of the Holy Spirit and faith. Not many get such a wonderful description in the Bible. Clearly Barnabas was an encourager just by his everyday example- we should be too.

Church tradition holds that Barnabas was martyred for his faith. True or not, the point is that he was such an awesome encourager we now celebrate a 'Feast of Christ' day to remember the example he became for us through the power of the Holy Spirit. As our Lutheran teachings say he and other saints have 'become a kind of living "stained-glass windows" through whom the light of Christ now shines on us'. Or maybe we could say Barnabas is like a flower that continues to encourage and bloom long after it has been broken off…. by a basketball. Or maybe not. I encourage you to be an encourager this week, to bloom where you are planted and to let the light of Christ shine through you! See you at the encouraging encouragers meeting this Sunday.

Blest Regards,
kp

I Wanna Give My All and NO Less

"Don't wish it was easier. Wish you were stronger." These are the words I read as I walk into the West YMCA to workout. They are part of an advertisement for a YMCA boot camp to build self-esteem, strength and confidence. I like these words, they motivate me to workout a little harder.

When Jake was looking at colleges for basketball he paid very little attention to NAIA schools like Concordia who made him very lucrative offers. Jake only considered his highest level offers including a walk-on invite at Nebraska. In the end he accepted the scholarship offer from NW Missouri State where he would most likely still have to redshirt (sit out for an entire year) to get bigger and stronger. That didn't happen. Instead Jake worked hard and proved that though he wasn't the biggest guard on the team he was the most intense and very talented. He got more and more playing time as the season went on and ended up starting the last two games of the year.

It was fun to watch Jake play at this high level. Big crowds, bands, radio and television coverage, game announcers, and cheerleaders create an aura of excitement. I could quickly see why Jake wanted to play here. But it wasn't easy. The competition was very tough and the conference NW Missouri plays in includes UNO and other high ranking national basketball powers. The very first game during warm-ups Jake walked by a 7-foot opponent and Sherri and I looked at each other with a 'you got to be kidding me' look.

At the end of the season Jake won the 'Most Improved Player' award. And on the award is a picture I think fits the 'Don't wish it was easier' slogan. In the picture Jake is driving with the basketball, pushing up against two very big, strong and athletic opponents. These guys represent the reason Jake wanted to play 'up'- to the toughest level of basketball where someone would give him a real shot at competing. In short, Jake wanted to play the best. He never wished it was easier, instead he made himself stronger and as a result of his hard work he had a fantastic freshman season.

I was thinking about the sign and Jake as I was working through a Bible study on suffering. The bottom line is that sometimes life is hard, real hard. Our sin has made it so. God could have made us perfect people with no free will. Instead we are playing in a higher league- a league, a life, with great highs and sad lows. God has told us we will never get more than we can handle- in short, we can play at this level. So don't wish life was easier, by the power of the Holy Spirit, make yourself stronger.

Listening to my IPOD as I was working out and mulling over my thoughts on this subject, I heard the Joy Williams song 'No Less'. The chorus hit at the attitude we need to have towards life which can be hard and fit what I'm trying to encourage us towards this week. Here are the words:'I wanna give my all and no less,I wanna live my life with no regrets. I'll listen to the call, Cause You gave it all. So when You put me to the test I'm gonna give You no less.'

This week in Mass the Priest was talking about the Holy Trinity and he delivered some words I will never forget. He said, 'God is for us, Jesus is with us and the Holy Spirit is in us'. Knowing this, we don't need to wish life would be easier, we just need to keep getting stronger in Him! We are blessed through Him to live confidently and with Hope. So get stronger, get in the Word, get in prayer, worship and service. Listen to His call, give it your all and no less. Knowing God is for us, with us and in us, we say to life, bring it on, this is a great adventure! And best of all, thanks to Him, we look forward to playing at an even higher level when we graduate from here!

Blest Regards,
kp

Coram Deo

An abortion doctor was killed last week in a Lutheran church as he ushered. And I'm going to be very honest here and admit that I struggle with what happened there on a number of fronts. I don't often wade into the waters of social issues in this column but I'm going to today- I keep thinking about this. Maybe you do too.

I firmly believe the Bible is clear on a couple of issues here. First, that anyone who has had an abortion or conducted abortions can be forgiven. God's forgiveness, His grace is wide and deep and for everyone who sincerely seeks it. What a blessing, what a gift and how reassuring it is for every one of us to have our sins 'remembered no more'. Secondly, the Bible is clear that life begins in the womb. From our little heart to our little brains to our little toes we are alive, we are small humans in the womb and best of all, even as curled up little balls of humanity, we are loved by God!

I struggle as I consider the Lutheran church which accepted a member with this on-going practice. I know we are all habitual sinners and as I comment on the sins of others I do so only by looking around the log in my own eye. In short, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). And I also know we are to be repentant and by the power of the Holy Spirit turn from those sins we find ourselves in. Are the ELCA and this church okay with late term abortions? Evidently. Does the LCMS and our own church take the same stance? No. Our position on 'life' is clear and clearly different. It can be found on the Synod website and would mandate a change in the heart of a 'doctor' like this.

The greater issue I struggle with is my reaction to this murder. I know it is wrong to kill. I know this 'doctor' is a child of God, a man whom I should love no matter how evil I perceive his actions to be. And yet I feel very little sympathy or outrage. My heart doesn't break for him - I am at best, at my very best, indifferent. Even worse, every time I hear someone say how awful the shooting was, how mean, how senseless, how evil- I can't help but think these same comments could be said about the children who lost their lives at the hands of this victim. I'm not proud of this reaction, not trying to be holier-than-thou, I'm just honestly telling you how I feel and trying to understand why.

Maybe you could say I have a guilty conscience about the way I feel. Or is it possible that maybe my conscience is causing this reaction? Conscience is a pretty complex subject and lovers of knowledge (philosophers) have been contemplating its existence and workings for thousands of years. Luther uses Holy Scripture to give the most insightful description and purpose of 'conscience' in a sermon on Romans, 'Conscience is not the power to do works, but to judge them. The proper work of conscience (as Paul says in Romans 2[:15]), is to accuse or excuse, to make guilty or guiltless, uncertain or certain. Its purpose is not to do, but to pass judgment on what has been done and what should be done, and this judgment makes us stand accused or saved in God's sight.'

Maybe you remember Flip Wilson saying (as only he could say), 'Here come da judge, here come da judge!' Could it be our conscience is a small hint of the perfect Judge and judgment to come? As we act and react in the world, we do so as Luther put it 'Coram Deo'- in front of, before, in plain sight of God. Our conscience helps us act and judge and form opinions with this in mind. The Catholic church wrote in her Second Vatican Council, 'Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a person. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths'. Echoing in my depths, in my conscience, God's voice calls me to love all. I am working on that. Thankfully God does not judge me as quickly as I judge others.

I usually like to provide you an insight with a smile and encouragement in this column. Today I know I didn't really do that. Maybe today's column was more for me than for you. I just needed to think with you for a moment as I write and struggle to hear God's voice in this event. May God grant each of us a 'coram deo' conscience about all of life's big issues. May His voice, His Holy Spirit, echo within the depths of you. God's richest blessings to you this week.

Blest Regards,
kp