Well it's week two of round 2 of chemo. And that means right now I'm feeling good enough to want to do something but not good enough TO do something. The fog hasn't completely lifted, my energy is taking a rest break and my stomach is still issuing complaints (wait in line) and refusing ro accept much except soup. Living in a bit of a never-never land I guess. I've never been off work this long- now a week, except on vacation, and I don't like not working already.
Anyway, as I take time to heal up, I've been reading 'Three Cups of Tea' by Greg Mortensen David Oliver Revlin. It's about how Mr. Mortenson who failed at climbing K2, the second tallest mountain in the world was rescued on his descent and healed up in a small Pakistani village. Here he falls in love with the native people who cared for him and he promises to come back and build a school for them which he does.
The book goes on to chronicle the difficult task of building schools (he goes on to build many more) that don't teach hate in an area known for both a harsh environment and religion- Islam. And the book makes me realize how intricate all the details are that go into what is happening in Afghanistan and Pakistan at this very moment. How tribes and different faiths and the stunning land form their unique soup of life. And in this wild mix of circumstances, America is trying to respond to help the most people we can. Who can understand it all?
Which I guess is a little like what is happening inside me right now. Like how my cancer cells are now in a battle against all these toxic drugs I keep pouring down my port. I imagine as soon as my chemo goes in it passes by all my good cells and heads for my neck, swords raised and ready to do bloody battle. Meanwhile cancer cells rally together to defend themselves- that's really about how well I understand what's actually happening. Sort of a 'Braveheart' theory of a cancer battle I guess. Again, who can truly understand the intracacies of what is really happening inside of me?
When you stop to think about it, we have been given such an amazing and marvelous world haven't we? Creation is at once both complex and simple. We enjoy the beauty of a simple sunset through the vision of our intricately designed eyes. Romans 1 tells us God is clearly visible to all in His creation and I would have added deserving of a round of applause.
These rambling thoughts were coming to mind as I realized that no matter how much I try I will never understand all that is going on right now in yet another major battle- the battle for my heart and mind and soul. The Bible talks about this, about us having a Savior, an advocate, clouds of witnesses, angels cheering - a win is a big deal in heaven! Why? Because forces of darkness and Satan prowl and plan and work to our demise. And like my Braveheart chemo drugs theory we at best only seem to have or want really a vague understanding of what is really happening behind the curtain of eternity. Thankfully we have our God-given faith to cling to in this battle!
Let me encourage you today to explore all the beauty and details of God's creation. Take time to explore God's Word, and the faith He has given you. It's amazing. Let's have more than a simple Jesus as Braveheart theory of salvation. Let's find even more beauty in in learning about Him.
Blest Regards,
kp
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Breakin Down the Trip
It's that time of year again when we make weekly or twice weekly trips to Maryville Missouri to watch Jake play basketball. It's about a two hour drive each way but worth the trip as its great to watch Jake play and have dinner with him or just talk with him after the game.
Usually we have a full van of folks with us including my mom and dad, Sherri's dad and sometimes her sister. I like to break the trip down into shorter segments. It's an hour to Hamburg where break out the food for the last part of the trip. Then its 30 miles east to Braddyville which consists of three 10 mile intersections. Lastly its 23 miles south and east to Maryville. It always feels good to complete a segment as it gets you closer to your destination.
I'm doing the same thing with my cancer treatments. I have 3 rounds of chemo consisting of three weeks each. First segment is 4 hours in the recliner taking IV drugs. The next segment is 4 days of drugs through a backpack encased pump. Then a little over two weeks till the next round. Right now one round is done, and I'm in the middle of the backpack stage of round two. So I'm looking forward to getting this backpack off on Saturday at 5:00 PM to complete another step in my journey.
Right now I'm low on appetite and energy. To balance that, I'm high on nausea. You kinda get used to it after awhile but it still doesn't make it any fun. Sherri does a great job helping me get the right drugs at the right time to limit those oozy feelings. I focus on getting through these short segments and am glad to be almost halfway done with my chemo treatments. Time flies when you're having fun!
Thinking about time flying and segments, what if we set up segments or goals for our faithwalk? I mean what if we really determined to do some things to respnd better to all God has done for us. Remember that cross and free gift of grace thing He did? I put together a To-Do list for the time I am off (2 months) from work. What if we did that for our spiritual life as well?
Here's my idea. Why not jot down a few things you'd like to do to or even just try over the next couple months? Let me suggest 10 things to get the party started:
1. Read a Max Lucado book- I liked 'And the Angels Were Silent'
2. Read a Philip Yancey book - I liked 'The Jesus I never Knew'
3. Read the short C.S. Lewis book - 'The Screwtape Letters'. Very insightful.
4. Don't miss church for the rest of the year.
5. Attend Advent services.
6. Attend at least one Bible study- we have plenty to choose from.
7. Read from the Bible a bit every day.
8. Find your old catechism and read a page or two a day.
9. Find a way to serve others and at church.
10. Develop a stronger daily prayer habit.
OK those are just starter ideas. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. We can start right now to break down our trip to the end of this year, to the end of our lives. It feels good to complete a segment, a task, and we already know that from experience don't we? So let's complete a few for the Lord! It'll make the trip more enjoyable and satisfying! Plus there's something better than a basketball game waiting at the end!
Blest Regards,
kp
Usually we have a full van of folks with us including my mom and dad, Sherri's dad and sometimes her sister. I like to break the trip down into shorter segments. It's an hour to Hamburg where break out the food for the last part of the trip. Then its 30 miles east to Braddyville which consists of three 10 mile intersections. Lastly its 23 miles south and east to Maryville. It always feels good to complete a segment as it gets you closer to your destination.
I'm doing the same thing with my cancer treatments. I have 3 rounds of chemo consisting of three weeks each. First segment is 4 hours in the recliner taking IV drugs. The next segment is 4 days of drugs through a backpack encased pump. Then a little over two weeks till the next round. Right now one round is done, and I'm in the middle of the backpack stage of round two. So I'm looking forward to getting this backpack off on Saturday at 5:00 PM to complete another step in my journey.
Right now I'm low on appetite and energy. To balance that, I'm high on nausea. You kinda get used to it after awhile but it still doesn't make it any fun. Sherri does a great job helping me get the right drugs at the right time to limit those oozy feelings. I focus on getting through these short segments and am glad to be almost halfway done with my chemo treatments. Time flies when you're having fun!
Thinking about time flying and segments, what if we set up segments or goals for our faithwalk? I mean what if we really determined to do some things to respnd better to all God has done for us. Remember that cross and free gift of grace thing He did? I put together a To-Do list for the time I am off (2 months) from work. What if we did that for our spiritual life as well?
Here's my idea. Why not jot down a few things you'd like to do to or even just try over the next couple months? Let me suggest 10 things to get the party started:
1. Read a Max Lucado book- I liked 'And the Angels Were Silent'
2. Read a Philip Yancey book - I liked 'The Jesus I never Knew'
3. Read the short C.S. Lewis book - 'The Screwtape Letters'. Very insightful.
4. Don't miss church for the rest of the year.
5. Attend Advent services.
6. Attend at least one Bible study- we have plenty to choose from.
7. Read from the Bible a bit every day.
8. Find your old catechism and read a page or two a day.
9. Find a way to serve others and at church.
10. Develop a stronger daily prayer habit.
OK those are just starter ideas. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. We can start right now to break down our trip to the end of this year, to the end of our lives. It feels good to complete a segment, a task, and we already know that from experience don't we? So let's complete a few for the Lord! It'll make the trip more enjoyable and satisfying! Plus there's something better than a basketball game waiting at the end!
Blest Regards,
kp
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Smells Like Noit-sa-roo Nop!
Every day on the way to school, I make Mate teach me a new Hungarian word. Early on I learned to say ‘great day’, noit-sa-roo nop. So now every time he gets out of the car at school I tell him to have a noit-sa-roo nop and that always makes him turn back to me and smile- mostly because of my poor pronunciation I am sure.
Great day. I had them in spades this past weekend. On Friday my two brand-spanking-new grandboys arrived. Logan and Luke had their very first great day November 6th. Of course they define great day as a warm blanket, a good nap, warm milk, and constant attention which now that I think about it is the same description my dad now uses for a great day.
Then on Saturday, Mate and I went out to the farm to watch the corn harvest. Mate rode on the combine for a few trips and had a great time. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and watching the harvest in action with my dad and Mate was great fun. Later that afternoon Mate and I drove to Lincoln to watch Nebraska whoop Oklahoma. Mate was amazed at the size of the stadium, the number of people, the band, the crowd noise level and the game itself. So as you can see, Saturday was a full day, a great day!
And maybe all this sounds right, that ‘great days’ are eventful, fun and exciting- it did to me as I was writing it anyway. But then I wondered what really and truly defines a ‘great day’. If a ‘great day’ is just a busy or fun day then I’d have to say it’s just like eating Chinese food, filling and satisfying for only the shortest of times. There has to be more to a ‘great day’ doesn’t there?
As I thought about it, I concluded the Bible tells us every day is a ‘noit-sa-roo nop’, a ‘great day’. Psalm 118:24 shouts ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. A God-made day is a great day by definition. He gifts us with a sunrise every morning and the canvas of another 24 hours to draw on and play in. Each day comes with God’s richest blessings of love and joy and mercy and grace. Could it be that any day is not a great day?
Even if every day is a great day, I had to think about a few great days that stand out in time. Like think about our world’s very first day. What a sunrise that must have been- and everything still had that new, just out of the box smell. Great day. Then the great days among great days really started coming to me- like Christmas and Easter, Passover and Pentecost, and really any day of the 33 years Jesus was kicking up dust. All great days among great days don’t you think?
I know at least a couple more standout great days are in our future starting with today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it, in today, and use it for His glory. And then there will be one final, one great, one last,end-all, noit-sa-roo nop. This is the eternal great day among all great days. Covered by Jesus blood and righteousness can’t you already smell our brand new, just out of the box, eternity? Till this last great day arrives, let’s rejoice and be glad to take our noit-sa-roo nops one great day at a time.
Blest Regards,
kp
Great day. I had them in spades this past weekend. On Friday my two brand-spanking-new grandboys arrived. Logan and Luke had their very first great day November 6th. Of course they define great day as a warm blanket, a good nap, warm milk, and constant attention which now that I think about it is the same description my dad now uses for a great day.
Then on Saturday, Mate and I went out to the farm to watch the corn harvest. Mate rode on the combine for a few trips and had a great time. It was an absolutely beautiful day, and watching the harvest in action with my dad and Mate was great fun. Later that afternoon Mate and I drove to Lincoln to watch Nebraska whoop Oklahoma. Mate was amazed at the size of the stadium, the number of people, the band, the crowd noise level and the game itself. So as you can see, Saturday was a full day, a great day!
And maybe all this sounds right, that ‘great days’ are eventful, fun and exciting- it did to me as I was writing it anyway. But then I wondered what really and truly defines a ‘great day’. If a ‘great day’ is just a busy or fun day then I’d have to say it’s just like eating Chinese food, filling and satisfying for only the shortest of times. There has to be more to a ‘great day’ doesn’t there?
As I thought about it, I concluded the Bible tells us every day is a ‘noit-sa-roo nop’, a ‘great day’. Psalm 118:24 shouts ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. A God-made day is a great day by definition. He gifts us with a sunrise every morning and the canvas of another 24 hours to draw on and play in. Each day comes with God’s richest blessings of love and joy and mercy and grace. Could it be that any day is not a great day?
Even if every day is a great day, I had to think about a few great days that stand out in time. Like think about our world’s very first day. What a sunrise that must have been- and everything still had that new, just out of the box smell. Great day. Then the great days among great days really started coming to me- like Christmas and Easter, Passover and Pentecost, and really any day of the 33 years Jesus was kicking up dust. All great days among great days don’t you think?
I know at least a couple more standout great days are in our future starting with today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it, in today, and use it for His glory. And then there will be one final, one great, one last,end-all, noit-sa-roo nop. This is the eternal great day among all great days. Covered by Jesus blood and righteousness can’t you already smell our brand new, just out of the box, eternity? Till this last great day arrives, let’s rejoice and be glad to take our noit-sa-roo nops one great day at a time.
Blest Regards,
kp
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Bowling for Healing!
Did I ever tell you I used to bowl? Twenty years ago I bowled a couple nights a week and one of those was a very competitive league down in South Omaha at the now torn down Leisure Lanes. I carried a 200 plus average and just missed the holy grail of bowling a 300 game by two pins. Today bowling isn't as big with others or me.
Bowling alleys in those days were notorious for smoke. Since I didn't really do bars or drink much, if smoking has had anything to do with my cancer that's the best I'm gonna come up with. I'm not looking for blame here, rather the thought came up when I remembered the old bowling phrase 'trust is a must or your game is a bust' which refers to throwing a hook ball to within a board or two of the gutter then having it come back for a strike.
I'm relating to that goofy line right now on a completely different level. I'm still pretty queasy from all the chemo and to some degree still headed for the gutter. I'm trying to turn the ship but this isn't really a matter of focus, it's a matter of healing which I'm learning again takes time and patience and trust. Everyday I thank God for a good prognosis which honestly makes trust way easier for me. Not everyone gets such news.
Yet God reminded me this past weekend about the the level of trust everyone of every prognosis, good or bad can have in His promises. In our Gideon breakfast Saturday morning we read in Titus 1 vs 2: 'My message is based on the confidence of eternal life. God who never lies promised this eternal life before the world began.' Can't lie! Hope is ours!
Knowing this helps me appreciate the words of a Ginny Owens song which fits me pretty closely these days:
Cause I'm not who I am
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
so if all these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.
It may not be the way I have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
Only that I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.
An interesting thing about that old bowling league- the secretary was a math teacher at Benson and we had information like no other league. He kept track of scores, developed standard deviations and used them to determine our most consistant and most explosive bowlers. Guess where I ranked- always top 2 or 3 'explosive' - which might sound good at first but really is another way of saying 'inconsistant'! Let's all move to the 'most consistant' list when it comes to trust during our hard times and good times.
Blest Regards to All,
kp
Bowling alleys in those days were notorious for smoke. Since I didn't really do bars or drink much, if smoking has had anything to do with my cancer that's the best I'm gonna come up with. I'm not looking for blame here, rather the thought came up when I remembered the old bowling phrase 'trust is a must or your game is a bust' which refers to throwing a hook ball to within a board or two of the gutter then having it come back for a strike.
I'm relating to that goofy line right now on a completely different level. I'm still pretty queasy from all the chemo and to some degree still headed for the gutter. I'm trying to turn the ship but this isn't really a matter of focus, it's a matter of healing which I'm learning again takes time and patience and trust. Everyday I thank God for a good prognosis which honestly makes trust way easier for me. Not everyone gets such news.
Yet God reminded me this past weekend about the the level of trust everyone of every prognosis, good or bad can have in His promises. In our Gideon breakfast Saturday morning we read in Titus 1 vs 2: 'My message is based on the confidence of eternal life. God who never lies promised this eternal life before the world began.' Can't lie! Hope is ours!
Knowing this helps me appreciate the words of a Ginny Owens song which fits me pretty closely these days:
Cause I'm not who I am
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
so if all these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.
It may not be the way I have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
Only that I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to.
An interesting thing about that old bowling league- the secretary was a math teacher at Benson and we had information like no other league. He kept track of scores, developed standard deviations and used them to determine our most consistant and most explosive bowlers. Guess where I ranked- always top 2 or 3 'explosive' - which might sound good at first but really is another way of saying 'inconsistant'! Let's all move to the 'most consistant' list when it comes to trust during our hard times and good times.
Blest Regards to All,
kp
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