Losing Touch?

OK, here is something wierd chemo did almost right from the beginning of my treatment. It took off the top layer of skin from my fingertips. Bizarre. This last round of chemo added the treat of a nice rashlike redness on the back of my hands complete with a nice swelling. Then my skin dried up into something that resembled Incredible Hulk scaley texture and completed the cycle with some very ugly peeling. Nice touch so to speak.

I mention this bacause my trip to the doctor this week resulted in two more prescriptions. I had to smile as I thought that you can tell how rough the health waters are for a person by looking at the number of 'white caps' (prescrition lids) by their bed. I've lost count at this point but I'm somewhere around 15 different medicines at one point or another during this treatment.

Peripial neuropathy is also a gift of chemo- losing feeling in your fingers and feet. My symptoms were really pretty light (compared to last time) until this last go around but now I have a nice case of both which I hope will recede again as I get further and further away from treatment. So this past month hasn't been a great one for my mitts but we're hangin in there!

Maybe we don't give it much thought, maybe we take it for granted but our sense of touch is so important. Losing even a partial sense of touch is disconcerting. Take it from me, periphial neuropathy isn't much fun. Which got me to wondering if we as a church, maybe as individuals are suffering from a case of spiritual periphial neuropathy.

Of course Jesus had a wonderful touch- almost all His healing miracles involved a touch. Leprosy, bleeding, blindness and even cut off ears were healed by His touch. And I wonder if we have lost that healing touch today as a church, if in our spiritual neuropathy we back away from or ignore opportunities to help a hurting world that so badly needs our touch.

I saw a commercial last night for a TV show about life after people on earth where a statue of Jesus loses His hands. Not sure what that has to do with the show but it reminded me that there are a number of stories about statues of Jesus without hands. The point is that today we are to be the hands and feet of God. But are we losing touch with our mission? Casting Crowns wonders about our lack of action in their song 'If we are the Body':

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?

And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? There is a way?

This week I hope you and I see and sieze an opportunity to touch a life for Jesus by giving or helpig in some way. Let's be touchers. I'm counting on my rash and neuropathy to diminish with time and hoping the same thing happens for us as Christians and as a church as well.

Blest Regards,
kp

Chris Somebody

Today's thought recalls an entertaining conversation Sherri and I shared this week on our drive to Kansas City. We were on our way to pick up our son Jake from the airport there. His college basketball team was returning from a Las Vegas tournament and we were excitied to get to see him again.

As we drove we listened to cds we had brought along for the trip. An hour into our trip I slid in Chris Rice's greatest hits and started to listen. This is where our conversation begins.

Sherri: Who is this?
Keith: You know his name, I'm not going to tell you.
S: I know- he sings the 'Cartoon Song'.
K: We saw him in concert.
S: Yeah, in Elmwood Park. I still can't think of his name- I know it, just can't think of it. Give me a clue, what's his first name start with?
K: C
S: Chris? Yeah it's Chris. Chris Something. Chris Somebody. I still don't know. Give me another clue.
K: Food.
S: Chris Banana, Chris Strawberry. I still don't know. Chris Hamburger. Give me another clue.
K: Asian favorite food.
S: Noodles. Chris Noodles.
K: Stop, that's not right.
S: Chicken. Chris Chicken
K: When did chicken become the favorite Asian food?
S: Raman, Chris Ramen!

The thought of Ramen soup being the favorite food of Asian people everywhere just struck me as absolutely hilarious and I began to laugh so hard I asked Sherri to stop guessing.

K: Stop, just stop, you're killing me.

Then in a moment of revelation one could clearly see on her face long before she said it, Sherri cried out-

S: RICE!!! It's Chris Rice!

And with that we shared a 'you had to be there' laugh that lasted minutes, the kind that waters your eyes and comes from the very bottom of your belly. The kind of laugh that doesn't go away quickly as it cleans the soul and makes a memory.

We need those good laughs every so often don't we? I mean life can be hard- we know that at our house especially during the past rough week of chemo. And yet God has given us the gift of humor and laughter and joy. My very lifeverse starts with 'Be joyful always' (1Thess 5:16).

Be joyful always reminds me to enjoy the ride. Life is a great gift to be enjoyed, not endured. LOL is more than a teen icon. 'Laugh out loud' should be a Christian way of life. The Bible reminds us over and over of the joy that comes from having a Savior who loves us, who offers forgiveness and grace and eternal life.

It's no accident that the angels announced Jesus' arrival by telling shepherds they had 'good news of great joy'! At the very begining and at the very core of our faith is a message of joy! You know, bring a smile to your face, contain your happiness kind of joy. Maybe even share a laugh kind of joy. This is the kind of joyful faith I pray you share with others this Christmas.

Christmas Blessings,
kp

Payphrase!

Greetings to you from the valley! The two weeks after chemo bring a myriad of health challenges and this week has brought some entertaining new ones and really done a better job of turning up the screws on a couple others. It's amazing how the body gets a little irritated and out of whack when you dump a bunch of toxins in for 5 days!

No part of my body seems immune to breaking down this time, at least a bit. My skin, sense of touch, taste, energy, stomach, balance, and thinking all have taken a pretty good hit. Still I try my best to stay at least a little active- even get out of the house on cold days for short periods of time to help bring mental healing if nothing else.

Like last Saturday, how I was getting ready to go watch Jake play basketball in Missouri and backed our van into the garage door shattering the back window out. I chalked it up to what some people call 'chemo brain'. Thankfully the garage door was okay- in this case the clear winner of car vs door.

All this allowed me the opportunity to drive without a back window on the coldest day of the year to go get a new one this past Monday. It was 25 degrees plus colder outside than the temp we keep our freezer at- that just boggles my mind. Anyway, thanks to insurance we're only $100 poorer but I'm sure it will cost me much more than that in a lifetime of jokes and comments if nothing else.

Not having the energy to get out and shop which I do enjoy, I've been doing some internet shopping which has worked out very nicely. After finishing a recent purchase at Amazon.com I was given the opportunity to select or make up a 'payphrase' for a one-click checkout which seemed like a pretty cool feature. But the most interesting thing was the phrase they suggested for me- 'Keith's existing hope'.

Now if you've read more than one or two of my blogs you know that 'hope' is one of my most favorite words meaning 'sure confidence of salvation'. Christmas only reminds me even more of my hope thanks to a baby born in a manger. Angels hearalded my suggested payphrase for all mankind over 2000 years ago proclaimong, 'you now have an existing hope!' Who among us can really grasp the depth of such an amazing proclamation and gift?

Health adventures help remind us He, Jesus is the only hope that really matters. And while I am so very thankful for all the healing hope God has shown Sherri and I so far, this Christmas we will again be focused on the hope that knows no valleys! Have a blessed Christmas!

Hopefully Yours,
KP

Respect and Reverence

It's a bit strange, waiting to get sick. Usually getting sick is an unpleasant surprise but for the chemo patient getting sick is a known result. Loss of appetite, constant nausea and a lack of energy are all on the way. The good news is after a another fingertip scans it appears all the cancer has either gone or shrunk to a point it can no longer be felt. So this could be my last round of chemo- yea! We'll do a full PET scan at the end of the year to get a final answer.

Health test results are always stressful events. Maybe you know what I mean. My biopsy test results delivered by my surgeon Dr Dobleman, brought good news and bad news. The bad news was I indeed had cancer again. The good news was it was a different more curable form of cancer. So Sherri and I left the doctor's office with an optimistic measure of hope knowing we had the best doctors around who would give me every opportunity to beat this disease a second time!

Hearing the details of these results with my oncologist Dr. Soori provided even more stress as he outlined all the places my cancer had spread to. Most were in my melon and neck with one rouge group setting up shop in my upper armpit. I remember telling doc, 'enough already'! Then some good news, all my organs were cancer-free. Nothing in the lung or kidneys or liver. The bone scan was all clear. Dr. Soori told us this was the most treatable head and neck cancer they see with very high cure rates- way different than my last cancer.

Having cancer or any serious disease I might guess, gives a person a reason to reflect on what is really important in life. I've had a chance to consider this as well. For me, I don't really see many big changes coming as a result. If anything, this adventure has only reaffirmed my priorities of the importance of faith, and my love for family. The importance of faith and hope in the healing process is clear. But the importance of faith for an eternal healing is even more important.

The fact is we all have a big test coming up one day- on the last day. Thinking about that test result can be stressful and cause fear as well. Luther spent years beating himself up over his lack of righteousness, his undeserving performance- and he was monk who spent his days in prayer and study. Thankfully he found in Romans 1 a confidence that Jesus' righteousness is ours if we don't reject it. In short we have the key, the answer to the test- Jesus! Luther turned his fear and stress into a joy and confidence in believing.

Yet Luther still reminds us constantly in the catechism that we are to 'fear and love God above all things'. Here fear means to have a respect, a reverence for God's power and authority. Proverbs 1:7 famously tells us that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'. Want to get smart? Then fear the Lord!

The good news is the fear of God, a respect and reverence for God, frees us from all other fears- even ones related to medical tests. John writes "Fear not, for I am with you. I will never leave you nor forsake, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (Jn 14). Sometimes that's easier said than done. But we'll do our best to do just that as we look for good test results at the end of the year.


Blest Regards,
kp

Whimsical

This morning I seem to have a bit of energy. That's been missing for a couple weeks so I appreciate the opportunity to get up and get active even if its only for a short bit. Hey, you take what you can get! The quick health update is that I'm getting through another rough stretch this time complete with periphial neuropathy- meaning I'm losing some feeling in my hands and feet. All this is fine with me as long as I keep winning the cancer battle! All the news so far has been good on this most important front and so side effects are to me just a temporary inconvenience.

I have been doing a bit of reading and just finished 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years' by Donald Miller. He's one of my favorite authors especially from a style perspective. In this book Miller writes about the process of having his life made into a movie based on his bestseller 'Blue Like Jazz' - a book I also enjoyed. The result is Miller wonders as they rewrite the details of his life to make it more interesting, if we could rewrite the details of our own lives for real, what would you write?

In his travels Miller meets a man who is leading a successful life and trying to help as many people as he can. And he asks Bob, what is the key to living such a great story and he answers, 'he didn't think we should be afraid to embrace whimsey.' Miller goes on to write, ' I asked him what he meant by whimsey and he struggled to define it. He said its that nagging idea that life could be magical, it could be something special if we were only to take a few risks.'

And those words ring true to the very heart of me from experience. How my greatest worship moment came in the mountains of Colorado with 50,000 other men because Atonement men stepped out in faith to take a trip they had no idea about. Or how on a still evening on a windy hill the LCMS balloon glowed brightly for all to see. Or I could give you numerous Atonement concert or VBS stories filled with risks and ending with whimsey-faith building life memories.

Miller writes, 'I believe there is a writer outside ourselves, plotting a better story for us, interacting with us, even, and whispering a better story into our consciousness.' And I too believe this- that we are called out of our comfort zones into an active faith to write the best story we possibly can with our lives by the grace and help of God. I remember writing about the saints being disponable- having listening ears connected to prepared hearts, ready to act on God's call.

We too are saints. We can be disponable. God is calling us out of our comfort zones to our own whimsical story, a story filled with risks and work sure, but also one filled with even greater joy and love for one another and service to others. When God directs the story, the whimsey of a silent night becomes filled with angels and glory. Storms become water-walking opportunities. Dinner becomes a miraculous feast for 5,000. These are God's whimsical stories- so much richer and fuller than the ones we dream of on our own.

'Whimsical Lutheran Church', wouldn't that be a name to raise eyebrows? Maybe that won't fly but what great story would God write for a whimsical church, unafraid to take risks in His name? What great adventures would we have? How many lives could we impact for Him? I hope we all get to find out someday! See you Sunday.

Whimsically Yours,
kp