Last week was a long week. That's because last week was test week - as in I had scans taken and after a couple days get the results back. I had the scans run on Wednesday and got the results on Friday. That meant three days of waiting to take the tests and two days of waiting for results.
I've felt pretty good lately and Dr. Soori has been pretty aggressive in massaging my neck looking for even the smallest bump and hadn't found anything. I've been continuing my weekly chemo treatments every Friday to try to prevent a reoccurrence of my cancer. All the signs pointed to a good report but cancer doesn't follow signs, it seems to have a mind of its own.
So Sherri and I were cautiously optimistic but also quietly realistic. Quietly realistic means living with an 800 pound gorilla of sorts for a week. He made himself at home in our lives and was quietly polite, really. Sherri and I tried to ignore him and we didn't talk about him. But we both knew he was there and we tried as best we could to wage a bit of gorilla warfare to keep him from becoming more than a quiet distraction.
Finally after five days of waiting, we sat in the doctor's office with our gorilla. Dr. Soori came in and asked how I was. I told him 'ok' but that waiting for test results wasn't easy. He said he understood and that it wasn't easy for doctors either. He then said right away, 'I have good news for you' and then went on to detail area after area of my body that came back 'all clear'. And with the final 'all clear' announcement, our gorilla put on his hat and left the room even before our time with the doctor was done.
It was great to see him leave but test results only have a 90 day shelf life in my world. In another 90 days I'll have the same set of tests run again - head, neck and chest, and most likely the same five day wait. And in 90 days he'll undoubtedly be back for a week - hopefully with a little less weight- maybe we'll have a 200 pound chimp instead.
Matthew 6 is what I call the 'don't worry, be happy' chapter of the Bible where Jesus reminds us that we can't add even a minute to our lives by worrying. He reminds us just how much God knows about us, how much He loves and cares for us. Focus on Him and you'll be fine. Even so, we all steal glances at our gorillas don't we?
Maybe an occasional glance at your own grape ape isn't worry as much as it is concern - which can lead us to take good and necessary actions like protecting our families or living healthier lifestyles or pondering even more important matters, such as God and faith and eternity. That seems ok to me. What we don't want to do is make gorillas the focus of our lives - we can't grab them by the hand and pat them on the head. In short gorillas are wild animals and don't make good house pets.
So this week I give thanks for the words 'All Clear!' I give thanks for good doctors and a very supportive and loving wife. I give thanks for all my friends and family who keep praying for me - and doing a great job of it I must add. Most of all I give thanks for a great God who tells me not to worry, that He loves me and has it all under control. And so He does, even the gorillas.
Blest Regards,
kp
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